My husband and I just returned from a one week holiday at an adults only resort (Sandals Royal Hicacos). We specifically chose an adults only resort because of the lack of children at such a place. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. If I’m not taking them on vacation though I don’t want to spend my time looking at other people’s kids so that I can then feel guilty all week that I left mine at home. You see what I’m getting at? There was a definite need for time without the kids. I don’t even feel a little bit bad about that. I know there are some out there that never go anywhere without their kids and kudos to you. I have a deep respect and awe for you moms with unending patience. I, however, am not that person. I am a better mother when I get a chance to regroup.
My husband and I try to get time away just the two of us as often as we can. We are blessed that my parents are young and healthy and can’t wait to have their grandchildren all to themselves. We have not gone for a week in a couple of years though and decided it was time to carve out some time for just the two of us.
The week was about us and it took a couple of days to get into it. We were a little lost without the kids. At first we talked about them a lot. How much we’d like them to see Cuba. How much fun they’d have on the beach. “What do you think they’re doing right now?” “Oh, they’re at skating”. “Nanny’s probably reading a bed time story right now” “Guess they’d be at school by now”. “Do you think the dog is driving my dad crazy?”
Then something happened. We started to relax and the conversations started to veer away from the kids and on to each other. We talked about each others business, sharing things we had forgot to at home. “You never told me that.” “I didn’t? Really.” We made a point of telling each other how proud we were of the other for all the things they’d accomplished. We talked about long term plans and short term goals. Things were brought up that may have started an argument at home but instead was met with an open mind. We got drunk and flirty. We had long baths and naps together. We snuggled. We slept in. We put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on our door.....a lot.
This is what we’ve come back with. We decided that we would ban talk of houses, cars or adding another dog for one year. We determined that the only way we would make it through this insane year was to live and die by a schedule. We determined our break times so that when it gets really insane we know that we only have so many more weeks/days/sleeps to our next time with family (currently March Break at Disney with the kids - Disney encourages you to bring your kids. Go figure.) We agreed that above all family came first. Very often we lose our priorities when work pressures start to mount. We are to be each other’s conscience when that happens.
We came back stronger for our children. We came back rejuvenated and ready to face what promises to be a very crazy year for both of us. We’ll be able to exchange knowing glances at one another now when it seem so very unmanageable.
I also brought the Do Not Disturb sign home with me.
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