I love Andrea Nair, I do. She’s the child whisperer and how can you not have a crazy amount of respect for someone who not only talks the talk, but walks it too. I mean hello, the woman just started homeschooling her children ON TOP of everything else she does. I am, simply put, in awe.
With all that being said, Andrea recently wrote an article about the top 15 things you’ll miss about your child’s toddler years. It’s a seriously cute article and even I will admit that I miss pudgy little fingers occasionally. Life always needs a little balance though, so I’d like to present 10 things you definitely won’t miss about your child’s toddler years.
I can barely write this without my gag reflex kicking in but if you’ve ever turned around to see your child obliviously looking at you with a big stream of green running out of their nose you know exactly what I mean.
It’s not the child’s fault when this happens and obviously you’d never get angry, but sweet baby jeezus, there’s nothing worse than changing wet sheets and a child in the middle of the night. Unless of course, you’re sleeping with that child when they wet the bed. Oh yeah, been there, done that, don’t miss it.
My kids are 10 and 12 now and while the tween years are no picnic, at least they don’t fall into limp-bodied protest position at the mall anymore when I don’t give into their demands. A ragey toddler is the scariest thing on earth.
Mamas of older kids are nodding their heads right now in silent approval. Mmmmhmmm. Years of sleep deprivation are why snotty tweens can make comments like “Oh, look how young you are in that picture, Mom.” Wait child, just wait. Your turn is coming.
Toddlers are fascinated with it. If they’re not walking around calling everyone a poopy-head, they’re carrying it around in their drawers while they’re being potty trained. Changing a diaper on a baby can be dealt with, changing a toddler who shipped their drawers, not so much. It’s literally the shittiest time of your life and you won’t miss it.
Honestly, there should be medals of valour for coming out the other side of a Canadian winter with toddlers. Boots, hats, snowpants, jackets, mittens, and scarves are not just pieces of clothing, they’re certified torture devices.
Of course they keep your child safe and of course you should always use one, but if you’ve ever tried to strap a crying child with a arched back into one, you’ll know why we took a match to ours when we were done. Good riddance.
“Do you know why the poopy-head pooped in the bathroom?” *Sigh* "No, why?" “Because he ate poopsicles from the poopy store.” While your kid is no doubt on the ground in hysterics, mindless conversation may be the number one reason moms start to drink. Toddlers should come with a warning; may kill brain cells.
Believe me when I say that I have rarely caved to my children’s demands at the dinner table but that doesn’t mean that feeding them was easy. It’s too green, it’s too mushy, it’s too hard, and wait for it, it looks like poop, were thrown about daily through the toddler years. It can beat a person’s confidence in the kitchen down. Now when they make comments, they can get up and make their own dinner.
If there’s a virus or bacteria within one square kilometer of your child, they will get it and pass it on to your entire household. Some less than stellar maladies we’ve had roar through our house have been strep throat, Rotavirus and the Norwalk. Oh yay, MORE poop. Toddlers less than diligent emphasis on hygiene means your household is open to every pathogen known to man because you know I speak the truth here mom, how can you not kiss a sick kid? Guess who’s down for the count in 3, 2….