I Am Mom. Hear Me Roar.

Unless There's A Bee Around. Then See Me Run.

I Am Mom. Hear Me Roar.

I've been through child birth so naturally, I'm fearless.

Erhm, maybe not so much.

I'm still a little scared of some things. And by little, I mean a lot. And by some, I mean many.

I thought being a mother would mean that I'd be able to handle anything and any personal fears would fly out the window. After all, mothers handle everything. They know all the answers. They never show fear.

Except it's all a farce. Our children think we're super heroes, who come to the rescue and fix everything and aren't afraid of anything but it's just a rouse. A little white lie we happily let them believe.

A lie that even I believed.

Until I became a mother myself.

And the thought of getting more bloodwork still scared me.

Wait, what?

That fear doesn't get whisked away with the placenta?

Um, not quite.

Damn it.

So, in full disclosure, here is a list of ten things I'm still afraid of.

Yes, even as a mother.

  • Cavity fillings. An epidural in the back is nothing compared to the thought of those crazy looking needles coming towards your mouth. Apologies to my dentist but I sorta don't like you at times. And might question your sanity. And might think you're sadistic. But, you know, otherwise I like you.
  • Spiders and cockroaches and other creepy bugs. Anything that has more than four legs and can crawl up on me unaware is not welcome in my world. Please stay away. I might not stomp on you but I will definitely try to immobilize you with all the hairspray in my possession.
  • Bees and wasps and moths. Similar story to the bugs mentioned above. Except I have more respect than to try to immobilize anything that flies. I know you will get me before I ever get you. So my strategy is always to run as fast as these short legs will carry me.
  • Ghosts. I'm not completely convinced they exist. But I'm not completely convinced they don't either. Vampires and zombies don't faze me. They're obviously just characters in tv shows and books and movies and they might even be friendly. But ghosts? No thank you. They may just be the real thing so better safe than sorry.
  • Mirrors in the dark. Hello, Bloody Mary? I'm not taking any chances on this one. Turn those damn lights on.
  • Roller coasters. The weird thing is that this one is new. I loved roller coasters when I was younger and now? Not so much. Luckily I can pretend they make me dizzy at this advanced age of mine and no one questions it. But oh-my-god-no.
  • Public speaking. I am horribly awkward in large social gatherings if I am required to speak. So I don't. I nervously fidget and incoherently mumble instead. It's awesome.
  • Car engines. I am certain that I am going to one day end up maimed by a car engine. I have no idea what is under the hood of my car but it seems very dangerous. I am convinced that my death will be by car engine parts.
  • Black tie affairs. I have no idea how I'm supposed to behave in these settings. That's because I go to so many of them, obviously. Or not. Can I put my elbows on the table? Who will I be sitting beside? It's anxiety inducing.
  • War movies. I cannot watch them. At all. The blood and gore and warfare are too much for me. I apologize if this renders me unable to appreciate true cinematic genius. Or history.

There's so much more to this list but I think it prudent to stop at ten. If I covered everything in one list, I'd have nothing to whine to my husband about. And that would be travesty. Not to mention how disappointed he would be.