I have a list of pet peeves. Just those little things that seem to get under my skin.
Only, there’s a slight problem with my list.
See, the thing is….
I commit each of these pet peeves on the regular. The very regular. Perhaps even daily.
I’m the ultimate hypocrite.
It’s not an unusually creative list. Nor is it especially exhaustive:
I hate when people get mindlessly addicted to online games.
I don't know how it happened. First Angry Birds, now Candy Crush. It's a terrible thing.
I hate when people are late.
I’m always late. Always. I’m notoriously known as the girl who is always late, that’s how bad it is.
I hate when people use inappropriate language in front of children.
I have the mouth of a sailor. I’m constantly trying to watch what I say in front of my daughters. Sometimes I slip up. Okay, fine, maybe more than sometimes as my older daughter likes to point out.
I hate when people don’t text me back right away.
I always forget to text people back. I check my messages. I promise, I really do. I check them and then I promptly forget about them. Not cool.
I hate when people with more than 6 items of groceries line up in the express line.
I have done this. I have tried to sneak another item or two into this lineup when I fully know I shouldn’t. I’m not making any excuses for it and trust me, I’m not proud of it.
I hate when people can’t control their dogs.
This is me. I cannot control my dog. He knows who’s in charge and it’s definitely not me. I try to manage him as best I can and by that, I mean I keep him on a leash whenever I take him out. He might pull and tug and try to get away but he’s on that leash. That sorta counts, right?
I hate when people don’t know how to park.
I don’t know how to park. I really suck at it. And not just parallel parking, either. I suck at all types of parking. I’m the person who needs to reverse a dozen times before the car is parked straight. I’m really very sorry about this.
These are my Achilles Heel so to speak. The things that I just can’t get right, no matter how hard I try. You’d think that I’d be on top of it since they’re on my own list of pet peeves. You’d think that and you’d be wrong.
Unfortunately, for the life of me, I cannot get it together. This is like my ultimate failure list.
*face palm and hangs head in shame*
Ah, the sting of self-loathing is unlike any other.
Anyone else out there know what this feels like? I can’t be the only one!
My mother is old school when it comes to raising children. She sterilizes bottles in boiling water the old-fashioned way. She heats milk on the stove top instead of using the bottle warmer. She still throws all diapers in the garbage bin outside the house instead of using a Diaper Genie.
And I JUST don’t get it!
Why, for the love of God, make things difficult when they could be so much easier? I’m all about modern day conveniences and innovations. I’d rather use a disposable diaper than a cloth one any day! I just cannot understand anyone’s reluctance to embrace all the wonderful new products out there.
I absolutely love discovering new thingamajigs that promise to make me cry tears of joy. Unfortunately though, they are usually a huge disappointment. Another few dollars wasted in an attempt to make this raising children thing smoother.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has spent good money on bad products and that’s why I’ve decided to make this list of new innovations that actually deliver on promises!
These are all the latest products out that do, in fact, do what they’re supposed to do:
The Woombie! Available at www.snugglebugz.com. Suggested retail price of $29.99.
This is a pod-like sleeping sack that is a safe alternative to swaddling. I think I died a little inside when the nurses told me that I wasn’t allowed to swaddle my newborn when my second child was born. It was the only way I’d been able to get my first daughter to sleep! Thankfully, my sister told me about the Woombie, which comes in various thicknesses for winter, spring, and summer. It hugs your baby’s shoulders and tummy while still allowing for the natural movement of arms and legs. I don’t know about anyone else, but I swear by swaddling and this thing is a life saver.
The Windi! Available at www.amazon.com. Suggested retail price of $21.99.
The name says it all. It’s a disposable, natural colic and gas remover. There’s just no graceful way to talk about this product. But it seems to really work! My friend had a colicky baby and swore by this. She promises that once you get beyond the initial ick factor, it works like a charm. While I never had to worry about colic, I hear it’s a nightmare and from all accounts, a little physical gas extraction would be well worth it. I mean, it can’t be worse than hearing a baby scream all night, right?
The Boon Squirt Spoon! Available at www.toysrus.ca. Suggested retail price of $9.99.
Meal time is no joke with infants. It’s messy, awkward, and stressful but this product promises to make it easier. The bulb holds up to three ounces of baby food and attaches directly onto the spoon end. Simply squeeze the bulb to dispense the right amount of food each and every time. Seriously, I bought this the minute I heard about it and can’t wait to test it out. I couldn’t feed my older daughter without a toy in one hand to distract her and the spoon in the other. This made for a vicious battle to ensure she didn’t knock her bowl of food off the table. I’ve had friends who have used this product and I only wish I’d heard of it when I had my eldest.
Snuza Trio Movement Monitor! Available at www.snugglebugz.com. Suggested retail price of $299.99.
I think movement detection monitors are probably one of the best inventions ever made. I remember constantly watching and touching my oldest daughter to make sure she was still breathing when she was an infant. That constant worry and paranoia was one of the reasons I invested in this monitor and it’s honestly provided me with the peace of mind that I never had before. I can say that I have yet to wake up my infant because I couldn’t see her breathing because with this monitor, I know she is. I don’t think parents ever fully stop worrying about their babies but this device definitely helps in that respect.
NoseFrida Aspirator! Available at www.lussobaby.ca. Suggested retail price of $21.99.
This product provides yet another way for mothers to prove their unconditional and unequivocal love for their children. Any parent who is willing to literally suck the snot out of their baby’s nose is definitely a winner in my books. But not to worry, there’s a handy filter so although you might gag, at least you won’t have any gunk in your mouth. While it’s a gross little thing, it works amazingly well to get all the snot out of your baby’s clogged up nose and help her breathe again!
While there are innumerable products out there that promise to help with childcare, I think these five are actually quite clever and worthwhile to invest in.
I’m sure there are many other gadgets out there that I don’t know about so spill it! Which new inventions are your favourites?
Thank you for allowing me some time away from talking about children — yours, mine, anyones.
Thank you for reminding me of what’s important to me besides my two daughters and enabling me to enjoy those activities I’d enjoyed before children. Because the truth is, I’m not always good at remembering all that.
I forget about me.
I forget what I was like before my children were born.
I forget who I was before I was a mother.
I forget that I exist independently of my children.
Thank you for bringing me back to me.
Thank you for letting me momentarily stop the incessant worrying and just enjoy life.
I don’t always want to worry about my daughters and the dangers that await them at every turn. Every sharp corner, every stranger, every heavy object. Sometimes I just don’t want to think about that and with you, I don’t have to.
You let me let go for a while.
Thank you for making me cherish my children even more when I get home from a night out.
Thank you for prompting me to recognize just how blessed and fortunate I really am when I get too busy with the mundane to do so.
Sometimes parents forget how fast it all really passes.
Thank you for noticing that tiny special detail about my child that I’ve overlooked in my haste to raise her.
Sometimes I get too busy just trying to get through the day to stop and see the miracles that are right in front of me.
Sometimes I forget how little time I really have with my children. Especially when the day seems so long and the night stretches even longer.
Thank you for understanding when those long nights mean I have to miss out on our plans. I’m sorry that I sometimes bail at the last minute.
Thank you for not making me feel guilty when I have to say no.
Even if it means no to the New Kids On The Block Reunion Tour. Thank you for getting me the t-shirt, though.
Thank you for accepting that my children will always come first.
Thank you for knowing me well enough to understand why it has to be that way.
Thank you for keeping me rooted in who I was while also letting me be who I am now.
But most of all, thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for simply being you.