New Year's Resolutions

So New Year’s resolutions

Ya.

Also

Huh.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  To make us better people?  Thinner people? Healthier people? Better at managing money people?

I mean, clearly I need help with all of the above but Hello?

The pressure people!!!! 

Anyhoo….I’m on it.  Last year I made resolutions that I absolutely could not fail at.  I mean "technically" if I had died there would have been resolution failure, but, you know, at that point it's all about the bigger fish to fry and all that.

So this year I’m going to make some resolutions that not only I can fail at, I most likely will.

But what the hell.  Right? 

And without any further ado, here are my resolutions for 2011

I'm Just Gonna Be Me.  From this point forward I’m going to write exactly how my blogs sound in my head and not hold back.  If you’ve ever received a Reply All email I’ve written when I’m bored, you’ll know the extent that I hold back. But not anymore!  From now on the freak is gonna fly.  Kind of like how I write when I’m drinking, only without the spelling mistakes. 

And continuity errors. 

And cursing. 

Actually, there’ll still be spelling errors.  But there’ll be freak flyin’ too so grab your raincoats.  Chances are I'm going to offend a whole bunch of people.  And I’m just warning you in advance, I have serious mental issues. Thankfully getting help for them isn’t on my resolution list.  Although it may be on my husband’s.

Write More:  And not just random words.

Read More Blogs:  I go through spurts where I read a tonne of blogs and then it dies down.  But this year I want to concentrate on reading more blogs and finding new writers to love.  If you have or know of a blog you think I should be reading, let me know!

Tap Dancing, Baby!: I want to learn a tap dancing routine to We No Speak No Americano. For reals.  All I need is someone to choreograph the routine and teach it to me.  And possibly tap shoes. Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

To Be Published:  I mean somewhere other than the Yummy Mummy Club website.  This one is sort of a throw away because I already know I’m going to be in a book this year.  Me! In a book! 

I know.  I’m totally washing machine dancing while I type this.

But other than the book I already know I’m going to be in – I’d like to be published elsewhere.  And I absolutely promise not to write whatever it is while drinking.

It’s really hard to type with your fingers crossed.

Do More Things That I’m Afraid Of:  This past year I spoke in front of an audience, rolled down a hill in a big plastic ball, spoke on the radio and went on t.v., when I socialized, I introduced myself to new people instead of staying in my comfort zone and I flew with my son to San Francisco – by myself!

And even though I was mostly so scared I practically shit my pants a couple of times I discovered

I.

Can.

Do.

It.

So this year I’m going to do more things that make me afraid and feel uncomfortable. 

Except when it comes to sex positions.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some tap shoes to find.