We have now experienced three Christmas celebrations, taken a couple long car rides, hosted a few shindigs, and done all of the shopping, eating, drinking and making merry that goes along with our holiday season.
Throughout our travels, the packing and unpacking, the laundry, the grocery lists, the gift exchange spreadsheet, and the gazillion details (that always work themselves out one way or another), I have been overcome by emotions a few times as I tried to put into words what Christmas means to me. Here goes:
It was a simple sentence uttered on the playground by a neighbourhood mom. As we watched our boys playing, our talk turned to how hard it has been to get my kids out the door in the mornings. Recently, my five year-old son has decided that every step of the morning routine is unnecessary. The chart that was so effective at keeping us on track no longer holds any weight. And that particular morning had been, let’s just say, plain difficult.
School had just let out, and my six year-old son and I are headed back inside against the flow of student traffic because we forgot something in his cubby. Kids are zooming down the stairs, teachers are urging the slackers to stop dawdling and put on their backpacks. As I head up the stairs, there’s a small space that kids are walking around and, when I get to the landing, I see why. A grade one boy is sitting on the floor, with tears streaming down his face, gripping a Tupperware container.
I don’t know any parent who hasn’t experienced some kind of struggle with their kids at bedtime. There’s a reason for the extreme popularity of the book Go the F&@k to Sleep. Reading stories is always an important part of our night-time ritual but I also use a few other tools that have saved my sanity and helped my little ones slip into slumber with greater ease. Some worked for a few months, some a few weeks, some are used on rotation, and some have become a standard part of our bedtime routine.
There is this myth of motherhood that has been perpetuated over the years about moms who do it all and how does she do it and oh-my-god-how-do-you-manage? I admit, I’m guilty of it. I look at other moms and wonder how they can look like they just came from the salon when I know full well they were wrangling four kids through breakfast and the get-to-school routine. We all have our struggles so why do we think that everyone else is handling things with seeming ease?
Who doesn’t want to be happy? Or want their kids to be happy?
According to Richard Davidson, a professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, it’s simple. Just as we can acquire a skill like learning to play the violin, we can learn to be happy through mindfulness.
My husband and I were out for dinner a few weeks ago. Just like old times. Except it wasn’t like old times. When Tim excused himself to go to the bathroom, my first instinct was to reach into my purse and check my iPhone. As I was scrolling through my inbox, I stopped myself. "Why am I checking email?" I thought. I had absolutely no good reason, so I put the phone down. Looking around, most people who weren’t engrossed in conversation, (and some who were still having a conversation) were on their smartphones. Heads down.
My family recently returned from a two-week vacation to London and Wales. My husband and I keep remarking on what an incredible holiday it was and, for the first time since having kids, we came back from our vacation feeling rested.
I have missed this space. Really missed it. If you read my last blog post back in March, you’ll know that I was making some changes, and one of those involved stepping back from YMC at the time. I’ve had a chance to pause, reflect, spend lots of time with my family, and re-prioritize.
Change. It is in the air. Fall is handing over the reins to winter. The weather is shifting, the last of the leaves are falling, the dark comes early, and we’re seeing glimpses of holiday lights and Christmas decorations. Some people bemoan the change from our crisp autumn days to the snowy flurries of winter. Some people embrace the onslaught of winter and all the outdoor adventures it offers. I love the way the city slowly changes at this time of year. There’s a certain quiet in the air, yet you can feel the anticipation of the holiday rush.
