Has anyone ever asked point-blank if you are pregnant? You would think that among taboo conversational topics (namely, God and Donald Trump), asking a lady if she is with child would be one of them.
Tia Mowry thinks so at least. The actress confessed in a recent interview that recently she's been fending off such questions and comments, which she likens to "a form of body shaming."
"I am not pregnant, I am just happy," said Mowry. "I've gained these extra 10 [or] 15 pounds because of my cooking show. … I'm just enjoying life and when I want to drop the pounds, I will, but right now I'm happy with who I am."
It may seem like a stretch, but think about it. Asking a woman if she's expecting is not only loaded; it's the Russian Roulette of questions.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but it's also incredibly complex. So many women want to start a family but can't, and for those who've experienced loss and miscarriage, that question isn't as innocuous or as simple as it sounds.
Either the woman isn't pregnant and has simply been enjoying her food (as in Mowry's case - and mine!), or she genuinely is pregnant. Either way, if she hasn't announced it to you already, assume that she has good reason.
Still, for others who don't want children any implication is uncomfortable and kind of oversteps personal boundaries.
As Mowry says, such commentary is part of a larger problem: society's expectation of perfection, particularly for those in the public eye.
I have an aunt (who shall remain nameless) who once gave me a hug, having not seen me in many months and immediately commented about my weight gain. Another quietly asked if I was pregnant - years before I started a family.
The inquiry hurts, particularly for women who've suffered from eating disorders or body image issues. On another occasion, I had lost a lot of weight and faced pretty much the exact same scenario.
I get that people are nosy by nature. Noticeable weight gain or weight loss catches our attention, yet we shouldn't feel the need to make a declaration about it (yes, even when that declaration is meant as a compliment). Hard as it is, we probably shouldn't bring it up unless the person does first.
As tempting as it is to ask the question, please resist. No good can come of it, trust me.