I wrote this Wednesday morning:
When my daughter was 1-year old, I went to New York for some work training. I was away for 1 week. At the end of the week, when my flight was delayed, I cried.
The delay meant I wouldn’t be home before bedtime. I would have to wait until morning to say hello to my baby, to let her know that I hadn’t really abandoned her, that I would never abandon her. How can you explain that to a baby any other way but to return?
Since then, I have not been away from Rebecca for more than a few days. She does go to her dad’s house, so I am used to her being away from time-to-time, but never for long.
She is 6 now, and this week she is staying at her dad’s… for the whole week. She is just 40 minutes away from me, but it feels like I am back in New York.
I wonder if she misses me.
I wrote this Wednesday evening:
So, this evening, I called Rebecca at her dad’s house to say good night, and he had to force her to talk to me.
Let me say that again... my daughter had to be forced to speak to me on the phone. Yeah, that didn’t feel good.
She has done this before... not to me, but to her dad. You see, usually I’m on the other end of the phone. I’m the one forcing her to speak. I don’t want you to think she’s not a nice kid, she only does this if you call and interrupt her while she’s having fun.
I caught her during family game time. I get it, I don’t like it, but I get it.
This is when I have to be the parent and separate my feelings of betrayal and disappointment and realize that she doesn’t understand how she is making me feel, and she is trying to deal with her own emotions too.
It broke my heart a little, but I'm sure that she misses me... right?