Since last June, every Friday night in our house has been Crazy Night. Son No. 1 and Son No. 2 alternate weeks and, essentially, are allowed to choose whatever they want for dinner.
Anything.
I know. I alternate between thinking I'm the best mom ever and thinking I'm completely insane.
When I first told the boys they were ecstatic, yet unbelieving. What was the catch?
But there was no catch. Friday nights at my house meant I was exhausted from working all week and the boys were wired because it was FRIDAY and the weekend was finally here. Trying to make and eat dinner when you're stressed and your kids have ants in their pants because they're finished school for the week is a recipe for disaster—and it was. There was a lot of me saying things like "I didn't cook this food so you could just stare at it" and "stop fooling around" and "can we not just have a NICE DINNER? and the ever famous "go to your room!"
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, yet week after week we were replaying the same scene over and over.
Crazy Night came about because our Friday nights were the complete opposite of fun. I wanted—no needed—to end the insanity. I was inspired by my friend Joanne who had instituted a Crazy Night at her house. While Joanne is more adventurous than I am, here's the cool part. When you want to have fun with your family you're allowed to do whatever you want, you can make choices that suit your family's needs.
There is no right or wrong when you're spending time together having fun.
Since that first night almost a year ago my kids have chosen meals that ranged from gummy bears and giant gobstoppers to freshly squeezed juice with fruit salad. We have eaten dinners in cushion forts and on the front porch, had a hot sauce competition and dressed in our best for a dinner by candlelight. I have been an audience member to an impromptu magic show in the park and eaten a birthday cake when it was nobody's birthday. While Friday nights are fun, that's only half of it. The planning and anticipation leading up to our Crazy Night is the other half. This past year has changed the way our family interacts on Fridays.
Not ready to let your kids choose what to eat? Just add in a little fun. You can throw a blanket over the kitchen table and eat in a 'cave.' Have everyone in the family dress up for a formal experience or go the opposite route and change into your PJs for a dinner in bed. Buy glow sticks for a glow-in-the-dark meal or have a dance party once you're finished eating.
As for me, I'm getting ready to watch a magic show put together by two very excited boys.
One of my biggest regrets in life is that I never got to know my mother as a person.
She was more than my mom, she was a person who had hopes and dreams, she had moments of frustration and faced disappointments, she had a whole entire life before I was born. But I had only ever viewed her as my Mother. I think as a child it's difficult to see beyond that. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I viewed her in a different light, but by then it was too late.
When I look at the picture above I no longer only see my mom playing with me in the water, I see a young woman who had a whole life beyond me. I thought I would have all the time in the world to ask her my questions and now, more than ever, I wish I knew that woman.
I work hard to keep her alive by telling my boys stories about her and what she was like—sharing my memories with them. But I fear I'm losing her. Memories fade.
Which is why I think this could be the most important gift you give to your mother or receive yourself. I was offered a copy for free and when received it, I cried while reading the questions. So many were ones I wish I had the chance to ask my own mom.
It's a journal that delves into specific aspects of a mother's life—from motherhood, family, and children, to life, love, relationships and what it is like to be you. Things like:
What are your favourite family celebrations or traditions and how did they get started?
What have been some of your most embarrassing moments and how did you react?
Who makes you laugh and what did you laugh about?
What do you value most about your children?
What did you put off until "someday" that you wish you hadn't?
They're all questions I wish I could have asked my mom but I can't, so I'll be answering them for my kids and some day when they are grown and have questions, they'll have answers—whether I'm here or not.
It's my Mother's Day gift to them.
And to me.
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