Yes, that’s me in the snazzy cream Daniel Hechter sweat top and feathered perm-mullet. Despite my days of pumpkin gut glory, I have actually grown to dread carving jack-o-lanterns. This is the beauty of carving parties—you can sit on your arse sipping a creepy cocktail while others do the work for you. You look like a stellar parent for organizing a fun event for your children, without lifting a boney finger. Scary smart, right?
I have dozens of costumes: vampires, a bat, a Solid Gold Dancer, several monsters, two dinosaurs, a kangaroo, a genie, a construction worker and more—you name it and I probably have it. My kids love to dress up, so we keep past Halloween costumes stored in a "Costume Closet" in our basement.
However, the closet is busting at the seams; one can store only so many wigs and Mexican sombreros before it becomes a "hoarding" situation.
Cooking a Thanksgiving turkey is a romantic notion but in reality, it's rather gross—the bones, the grease, the horrifically phallic turkey neck. And don't even get me started on the giblets. Needless to say, the less I have to touch the bird, the better.
Dissed by the ladies who lunch? Feeling flabby, frumpy, old and ugly? Is your boss a weinie who says “Nice work Karen!” while staring at your boobs...and your name is Jennifer!? Did you stupidly go bathing suit shopping?? Or do you just feel like a big ol' cry baby? If you answered yes to any or all, or if you just feel crappy, sappy or kind of unhappy* you are absolutely entitled to throw yourself a Pity Party.
Back in the days of electric blue mascara and Friday Night Videos, the mere mention of a party would send me moon-walking out the door in my acid wash jeans before you could say “Def Leppard.”
My how things have changed. Just ask any one of your fellow mummy friends—If given a choice, would she rather:
We enjoy peanut butter in some form several times a week. Fortunately there are no nut allergies in our family so we’re free to go, you know, nuts. Thank goodness because as parents of an extremely picky eater, peanut butter has been a staple at our house.
My daughter was tube fed as an infant. When she started actually eating on her own, to say she was picky is an understatement. I’ve had to become a stealth food disguiser, adding oils to her cereal, sneaking in protein powders and spinach to her smoothies, shredding zucchini into her pasta sauce, etc.
My son is going into grade four. Grade four! How did this happen? This year BOTH of my children will be in school all day...every day. Cue tap dancing, followed by guilt, overridden by joy, shadowed by panic. It’s whirlwindy over here.
As a teacher turned work-at-home mom, I know this anxiety will soon pass, schedules will resume and life will go on {though dotted with intermittent freak outs and the occasional mama bear mauling}. In the meantime, parents everywhere are calming themselves with the task of stocking their children’s school backpacks.
SUSHI is a yummy and healthy hit at any party. You can buy it premade (pricey), but homemade sushi is inexpensive and surprisingly easy to make. It does take some time—about an hour from start to finish, but it's worth it.
I’ve been making sushi at home for years, but I usually cheat a little by using my Sushi Master Sushi Maker machine. God I love my CNE gadgets (yes, I also own a Sham Wow and a Slap Chop).
Does the thought of planning, preparing, and serving a lavish seven course meal have you reaching for your cookbooks in giddy anticipation? Or does the image of a smokey kitchen and food poisoning lawsuit send you diving for cover under your dining room table? Maybe a smaller, less intimidating cocktail party is more your scene?
Saturday night, commonly known as "Date Night," I spiffed up and went to meet my escort. I didn't have far to go since he was at the end of the hall in his room playing Lego. Mummy and son were going to paint the town Crayola red while hubby and daughter were having their own special time at home with pizza and a video (Did I say “video?” Time warp. I meant DVD...I mean, Blu Ray. Fine, we don't have Blue Ray.
Want to have the time of your life? I can’t promise a buff hottie to lift you over his head in the shallows, but I CAN promise there will be plenty of Watermelon Margaritas to go around. In fact, I’ll be hosting a bartending tutorial for thirsty YMC mummies who’d like to unleash their inner Cocktailista. We’ll muddle, mix and sip our way through Bartending 101 and depending on how many cocktails we sample, there may be some Dirty Dancing involved...
My son and his dad have been collecting dino replicas from the time our boy was a toddler. His bedroom has since been transformed from a 'dino den' to a 'space station' (with a special spot reserved for his beloved collection). After all these years, his fascination with these giant reptiles hasn’t waned.
Most parents would rather gnaw off their own arms than face the daunting task of hosting a kids’ party. Hence the trend to outsource parties to playcentres or indoor amusement facilities. I’ve done it. Were the parties successful? Sure. Were they especially memorable? Not particularly. Were they expensive? Absolutely. Throw in food and loot bags (don't even get me started) and these affairs can cost a (gnawed) arm and a leg.
... here's the email (in all it's rambling-ness) I sent to Erica in hopes of becoming the YMC Party Mummy Blogger. Thanks for choosing me Erica. And, for putting up with my puns and verbosity and obsessive use of smiley faces. Oh man, remember how drunk we got right after this photo was taken? The cow tipping, the skinny dipping in the Nathan Phillips Square Fountain, the sailors. Good times. ;)
How Walter Chell (the inventor of Canada's iconic cocktail) EVER came up with the Caesar is beyond me. Clam juice? Really?
Turns out Chell was a visionary because more than 350 million Caesars are made with Mott’s Clamato every year. The combination of sweet tomato juice, salty clam nectar, sour lime, spicy Worcestershire and bitter celery salt make Canada’s most popular cocktail truly unique.
My summertime drink of choice has always been a crisp white, since I was under the impression that chilling red wine was trashy. Turns out I was wrong. All the cool kids are doing it. Last summer I chilled out with a fruity red and liked it. A lot.
What's the wedding anniversary gift for three years? Dog biscuits?
My dog got hitched to my brother's bitch (technical term, she's actually very sweet) in a garden wedding. There were guests and (bow wow) vows, gifts and dinner and dancing—the humans danced, the dogs just sniffed each other.
I'm still waiting for my "International Party Mummy" day application to go through and when it does, there will be quite the celebration.
Until then, why don't we whip up some iced tea cocktails and mocktails and celebrate this annual tea drinking holiday (observed on June 10) while we wait?
Pressure. We all feel it. The pressure to run our lives, to look after our families, to take care of ourselves... (Note which point came in last by the way?)
I feel pressure every day. It's not usually a problem, but when my blood pressure starts to rise, it becomes a problem; a dangerous one if not managed properly.
