Fact: Having a basic theme in place for your dinner party makes the planning and hosting so much easier.
One of the most popular themes (at least in my casa) is DIY Taco Night! Set up a Taco Bar at your next party and people will be taco-ing about you for weeks! In a good way...not like the way they talked about you after that Christmas party when you did that thing. You know, that thing that we're never aloud to mention again.
Warning: This post is yet another disgusting peek into the world of gross ailments. (Did you read about my recent encounter with Shingles?) There's just no prettying up a story about WARTS. As they say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Plus, now you've exposed yourself to hogwarts (that pun's gonna kill with the Harry Potter crowd).
If you invite my daughter with special needs to a party she'll RSVP a resounding YES in giggles and jumpy claps and possibly a high kick. Her desire to connect with other humans, kids or adults (she's not picky) is one of the reasons we entertain often and host a lot of craft/baking/holiday theme parties at our house. She isn't invited to many parties, so we bring the party to her!
I went to my doctor recently with six or seven red welts on my hip that I suspected were spider bites. (Thank you to my brother for putting that horrific thought into my head.) I also wondered if I could be allergic to my new jeans — specifically the dark wash that was dying my skin blue. My husband helpfully suggested the hives could be from “tight pants and all the rubbing.” He paid handsomely for that comment.
You've heard the term "Food Porn?" People use it to describe photos of food so sinfully decadent that it borders on pornography.
I think it's time to take the term literally by hosting a Food Porn party! Dull dinner parties are passé, but Food Porn Parties are hot! If you consider silly and ridiculous and something to do for the puns alone, hot. I do.
Familiar with Urban Dictionary? This hilariously TMI website has been putting the dick in dictionary since 2004. If you've never heard of it, it probably means you're more "mature adult" than "dirty bird." I won't say which category I fall under. *squawk-flap-peck-poops on a car windshield*
This is no ordinary dictionary. Poor Webster would roll over in his grave if he knew that this kind of word defining resource was looming in the future.
There have always been bullies on the playground and mean girls lurking in the school washroom. Their presence on the internet was inevitable—it's a more convenient place to beat up the nerd, shame the slut, and humiliate the chubby kid.
To understand that my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me. So I try not to think about it. But it’s hard to ignore the facts when your kid is patting your neighbour’s pregnant belly saying, “Dares a baby in dare? Awwwww. I can’t wait to see your baby. I’m going to have a baby too.” For weeks since my daughter found out this new baby was on the way, she’s been walking around with her rubber Dora ball tucked up inside her shirt, rubbing her tummy saying, “I’m going to be a mummy!
There are some catch phrases that start out cute and you're like, "That's so funny. I LOVE that expression. Say it again. More, more!" Until everyone jumps on the bandwagon and suddenly you're like, "Lop off my ears with a butter knife if you must, but please make it stop!"
I'm not talking about grammar gaffes like, "I seen it on the T.V." or "That's what youse guys said, supposebly." Those are unfortunate linguistic errors that don't warrant mockery. That would just be mean.
Mother Nature doesn't give a rat's ass that you're trapped indoors without wifi or TV with a pack of wrangy children. If she has rain on her agenda, that's too bad for you. I know this from experience. We spent a week last summer at a rustic family cottage and it rained four out of seven days. Thanks to sheer will and sangria, we made it through. But just barely.
This year we're heading into the wild armed with activities aplenty. So bring it on Mother Nature — we're ready for you.
Perhaps as a by-product of the hyper politically correct society we've created, the word fat has become the new "F" word. You can no longer elude to fatness in public without running the risk of being called a "Fat Shamer"—even if you're referring to yourself! I called myself "Skinny Fat" online and it ruffled some feathers.
Nowhere is the expression “the days are long, but the years are short” more fitting than when we’re talking motherhood. When I was home on mat leave with my first child, by 5pm you'd often find me with my forehead pressed against the front window, mentally willing my husband’s car to pull into the driveway. Those early days felt painfully long. But twelve years later, I long for those days, painfully.