Lisa Thornbury: Party Mummy

Apr
22
2016

Be the Taco the Town: Host a Taco Bar Party!

The Easiest Dinner Party This Side Of Tijuana

taco bar

Fact: Having a basic theme in place for your dinner party makes the planning and hosting so much easier.

One of the most popular themes (at least in my casa) is DIY Taco Night! Set up a Taco Bar at your next party and people will be taco-ing about you for weeks! In a good way...not like the way they talked about you after that Christmas party when you did that thing. You know, that thing that we're never aloud to mention again. 

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Mar
27
2016

How to Thwart Warts

What Works And What Doesn't

warthog

Warning: This post is yet another disgusting peek into the world of gross ailments. (Did you read about my recent encounter with Shingles?) There's just no prettying up a story about WARTS. As they say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Plus, now you've exposed yourself to hogwarts (that pun's gonna kill with the Harry Potter crowd).

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Mar
22
2016

When Your Kid Is Different It's Hard To Always Be Emotionally Prepared

How To Deal (and NOT to deal!) With Stares And Awkward Questions

sad girl

If you invite my daughter with special needs to a party she'll RSVP a resounding YES in giggles and jumpy claps and possibly a high kick. Her desire to connect with other humans, kids or adults (she's not picky) is one of the reasons we entertain often and host a lot of craft/baking/holiday theme parties at our house. She isn't invited to many parties, so we bring the party to her!

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Mar
07
2016
Shingles - how to deal with it | YummyMummyClub.ca

I went to my doctor recently with six or seven red welts on my hip that I suspected were spider bites. (Thank you to my brother for putting that horrific thought into my head.) I also wondered if I could be allergic to my new jeans — specifically the dark wash that was dying my skin blue. My husband helpfully suggested the hives could be from “tight pants and all the rubbing.” He paid handsomely for that comment. 

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Feb
15
2016
This party theme is NSFW and hilarious. | YMCFood | YummyMummyClub.ca

You've heard the term "Food Porn?" People use it to describe photos of food so sinfully decadent that it borders on pornography. 

I think it's time to take the term literally by hosting a Food Porn party! Dull dinner parties are passé, but Food Porn Parties are hot! If you consider silly and ridiculous and something to do for the puns alone, hot. I do. 

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Jan
26
2016

No Need to be a Sleep Zombie Martyr

If You Need Help Sleeping, Get It!

No Need To Be A Sleep Zombie Martyr. Here's why you should get help if you need it. | Health | Wellness | YummyMummyClub.ca

I've been so obsessed with the concept of sleep (or lackthereof), that it keeps me up at night. And when I do sleep, it's with one eye open—my husband says it's creepy/sexy. 

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Dec
15
2015

Fun With Urban Dictionary

Play This Inappropriate Word Game With Friends

Urban Dictionary Game | YummyMummyClub.ca

Familiar with Urban Dictionary? This hilariously TMI website has been putting the dick in dictionary since 2004. If you've never heard of it, it probably means you're more "mature adult" than "dirty bird." I won't say which category I fall under. *squawk-flap-peck-poops on a car windshield* 

This is no ordinary dictionary. Poor Webster would roll over in his grave if he knew that this kind of word defining resource was looming in the future. 

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Nov
18
2015

Dear Cyber Bullies: Here's What You Should Know

Cyber Bullying Won't End Unless We Make It Stop

Dear Cyber Bullies: Here's What We Want You to Know. | Online Bullying | Women | YummyMummyClub.ca

There have always been bullies on the playground and mean girls lurking in the school washroom. Their presence on the internet was inevitable—it's a more convenient place to beat up the nerd, shame the slut, and humiliate the chubby kid. 

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Oct
08
2015

Will My Daughter With Special Needs Get to be a Mummy?

To understand my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me

daughter and mother holding hands

To understand that my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me. So I try not to think about it. But it’s hard to ignore the facts when your kid is patting your neighbour’s pregnant belly saying, “Dares a baby in dare? Awwwww. I can’t wait to see your baby. I’m going to have a baby too.” For weeks since my daughter found out this new baby was on the way, she’s been walking around with her rubber Dora ball tucked up inside her shirt, rubbing her tummy saying, “I’m going to be a mummy!

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Oct
01
2015

Thankful Not Thankful

Blame It On The Hormones?

angry woman at thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches you'll likely read a "What I'm thankful for" post or ten. This is NOT that post.

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Mommy Juice

There are some catch phrases that start out cute and you're like, "That's so funny. I LOVE that expression. Say it again. More, more!" Until everyone jumps on the bandwagon and suddenly you're like, "Lop off my ears with a butter knife if you must, but please make it stop!" 

I'm not talking about grammar gaffes like, "I seen it on the T.V." or "That's what youse guys said, supposebly." Those are unfortunate linguistic errors that don't warrant mockery. That would just be mean. 

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Sep
01
2015
How I became a party mummy

This summer marks the six year anniversary of my appointment as "Party Mummy" here at YMC. So, I'm taking a moment to look back at why I love writing and living this blog. 

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Aug
25
2015

Spritz Your Wine Pink

Make A Pink Lady This Summer

How to make a Pink Lady white wine spritzer

I'm not a wine snob. I'll happily drink an $8 bottle of white without complaint unless it's awfully oaky or sickly sweet. Then I'll scrunch up my nose and wine whine until somebody refills my glass. 

I also enjoy a spritzer—the usual kind, soda and wine over ice. These wine spritzers make a refreshing, alcohol and calorie-wise alternative to a regular glass of wine.

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Aug
14
2015

This Hot Cocoa Ain't For Kids

Try A Chicken Bone Cocoa—A Super Simple Campfire Cocktail

Chicken_Bone_Cocoa

Here are a few things I discovered this summer—plus a campfire cocktail you're going to want to try!

1. No matter where I sit at a campfire I will be blinded by smoke within 30 seconds. 

2. I can actually survive a week in the wild without wifi.

3. A leech can be removed from your foot by dosing it with a few drops of rubbing alcohol. 

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Jul
14
2015

Rainy Day Activities to Save Your Sanity

Oh Crap...It's Raining. Now What?!

rainy day activities for kids
Mother Nature doesn't give a rat's ass that you're trapped indoors without wifi or TV with a pack of wrangy children. If she has rain on her agenda, that's too bad for you. I know this from experience. We spent a week last summer at a rustic family cottage and it rained four out of seven days. Thanks to sheer will and sangria, we made it through. But just barely.  
 
This year we're heading into the wild armed with activities aplenty. So bring it on Mother Nature — we're ready for you.

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Jul
08
2015

The Skinny On My Weight Loss

Plus The Truth About Fat Shaming

10 things you should do when you're trying to lose weight.

Perhaps as a by-product of the hyper politically correct society we've created, the word fat has become the new "F" word.  You can no longer elude to fatness in public without running the risk of being called a "Fat Shamer"—even if you're referring to yourself! I called myself "Skinny Fat" online and it ruffled some feathers.

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Motherhood is the ultimate road trip. Without a map. Or brakes.
Nowhere is the expression “the days are long, but the years are short” more fitting than when we’re talking motherhood. When I was home on mat leave with my first child, by 5pm you'd often find me with my forehead pressed against the front window, mentally willing my husband’s car to pull into the driveway. Those early days felt painfully long. But twelve years later, I long for those days, painfully. 
 
Life has definitely sped up.

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May
27
2015
cocktail_calories_counter

Back in the day before a big night out when we’d chant:

Beer before liquor, never sicker; Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear!

These days it’s more…

Beer before liquor, waist gets thicker; Liquor before beer, gigantic rear!

The sad booze news is—and please don’t shoot the messenger or god forbid, buy me a shooter— alcohol is not a dieter's friend.

Gasp!

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Apr
27
2015

Beware of Becoming the "B-Word"

How to Give Your Mom The Gift She REALLY Wants

My mother has been calling me the B-word lately. Sometimes behind my back. Sometimes to my face.  But it's okay. I know it's only because she misses me.  
 
Besides, she is absolutely right.  I am the B-word. I am Busy.

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Apr
15
2015

Does Your Online Persona Reflect the REAL You?

Why You May Need To Quit Being Such A Sour Susan

online_persona

I fully admit that I like to be liked. If you don't like me, I'll jump through flaming hoops to change your opinion.

"Issues."

But this post isn't about me and my problems. It's about you and your problems. Kidding. You don't have problems. You're perfect just the way you are. See? There I go trying to make you like me. 

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