Lisa Thornbury: Party Mummy

Jan
26
2016

No Need to be a Sleep Zombie Martyr

If You Need Help Sleeping, Get It!

No Need To Be A Sleep Zombie Martyr. Here's why you should get help if you need it. | Health | Wellness | YummyMummyClub.ca

I've been so obsessed with the concept of sleep (or lackthereof), that it keeps me up at night. And when I do sleep, it's with one eye open—my husband says it's creepy/sexy. 

Read the whole post

Dec
15
2015

Fun With Urban Dictionary

Play This Inappropriate Word Game With Friends

Urban Dictionary Game | YummyMummyClub.ca

Familiar with Urban Dictionary? This hilariously TMI website has been putting the dick in dictionary since 2004. If you've never heard of it, it probably means you're more "mature adult" than "dirty bird." I won't say which category I fall under. *squawk-flap-peck-poops on a car windshield* 

This is no ordinary dictionary. Poor Webster would roll over in his grave if he knew that this kind of word defining resource was looming in the future. 

Read the whole post

Nov
18
2015

Dear Cyber Bullies: Here's What You Should Know

Cyber Bullying Won't End Unless We Make It Stop

Dear Cyber Bullies: Here's What We Want You to Know. | Online Bullying | Women | YummyMummyClub.ca

There have always been bullies on the playground and mean girls lurking in the school washroom. Their presence on the internet was inevitable—it's a more convenient place to beat up the nerd, shame the slut, and humiliate the chubby kid. 

Read the whole post

Oct
08
2015

Will My Daughter With Special Needs Get to be a Mummy?

To understand my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me

daughter and mother holding hands

To understand that my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me. So I try not to think about it. But it’s hard to ignore the facts when your kid is patting your neighbour’s pregnant belly saying, “Dares a baby in dare? Awwwww. I can’t wait to see your baby. I’m going to have a baby too.” For weeks since my daughter found out this new baby was on the way, she’s been walking around with her rubber Dora ball tucked up inside her shirt, rubbing her tummy saying, “I’m going to be a mummy!

Read the whole post

Oct
01
2015

Thankful Not Thankful

Blame It On The Hormones?

angry woman at thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches you'll likely read a "What I'm thankful for" post or ten. This is NOT that post.

Read the whole post

Mommy Juice

There are some catch phrases that start out cute and you're like, "That's so funny. I LOVE that expression. Say it again. More, more!" Until everyone jumps on the bandwagon and suddenly you're like, "Lop off my ears with a butter knife if you must, but please make it stop!" 

I'm not talking about grammar gaffes like, "I seen it on the T.V." or "That's what youse guys said, supposebly." Those are unfortunate linguistic errors that don't warrant mockery. That would just be mean. 

Read the whole post

Sep
01
2015
How I became a party mummy

This summer marks the six year anniversary of my appointment as "Party Mummy" here at YMC. So, I'm taking a moment to look back at why I love writing and living this blog. 

Read the whole post

Aug
25
2015

Spritz Your Wine Pink

Make A Pink Lady This Summer

How to make a Pink Lady white wine spritzer

I'm not a wine snob. I'll happily drink an $8 bottle of white without complaint unless it's awfully oaky or sickly sweet. Then I'll scrunch up my nose and wine whine until somebody refills my glass. 

I also enjoy a spritzer—the usual kind, soda and wine over ice. These wine spritzers make a refreshing, alcohol and calorie-wise alternative to a regular glass of wine.

Read the whole post

Aug
14
2015

This Hot Cocoa Ain't For Kids

Try A Chicken Bone Cocoa—A Super Simple Campfire Cocktail

Chicken_Bone_Cocoa

Here are a few things I discovered this summer—plus a campfire cocktail you're going to want to try!

1. No matter where I sit at a campfire I will be blinded by smoke within 30 seconds. 

2. I can actually survive a week in the wild without wifi.

3. A leech can be removed from your foot by dosing it with a few drops of rubbing alcohol. 

Read the whole post

Jul
14
2015

Rainy Day Activities to Save Your Sanity

Oh Crap...It's Raining. Now What?!

rainy day activities for kids
Mother Nature doesn't give a rat's ass that you're trapped indoors without wifi or TV with a pack of wrangy children. If she has rain on her agenda, that's too bad for you. I know this from experience. We spent a week last summer at a rustic family cottage and it rained four out of seven days. Thanks to sheer will and sangria, we made it through. But just barely.  
 
This year we're heading into the wild armed with activities aplenty. So bring it on Mother Nature — we're ready for you.

Read the whole post

Jul
08
2015

The Skinny On My Weight Loss

Plus The Truth About Fat Shaming

10 things you should do when you're trying to lose weight.

Perhaps as a by-product of the hyper politically correct society we've created, the word fat has become the new "F" word.  You can no longer elude to fatness in public without running the risk of being called a "Fat Shamer"—even if you're referring to yourself! I called myself "Skinny Fat" online and it ruffled some feathers.

Read the whole post

Motherhood is the ultimate road trip. Without a map. Or brakes.
Nowhere is the expression “the days are long, but the years are short” more fitting than when we’re talking motherhood. When I was home on mat leave with my first child, by 5pm you'd often find me with my forehead pressed against the front window, mentally willing my husband’s car to pull into the driveway. Those early days felt painfully long. But twelve years later, I long for those days, painfully. 
 
Life has definitely sped up.

Read the whole post

May
27
2015
cocktail_calories_counter

Back in the day before a big night out when we’d chant:

Beer before liquor, never sicker; Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear!

These days it’s more…

Beer before liquor, waist gets thicker; Liquor before beer, gigantic rear!

The sad booze news is—and please don’t shoot the messenger or god forbid, buy me a shooter— alcohol is not a dieter's friend.

Gasp!

Read the whole post

Apr
27
2015

Beware of Becoming the "B-Word"

How to Give Your Mom The Gift She REALLY Wants

My mother has been calling me the B-word lately. Sometimes behind my back. Sometimes to my face.  But it's okay. I know it's only because she misses me.  
 
Besides, she is absolutely right.  I am the B-word. I am Busy.

Read the whole post

Apr
15
2015

Does Your Online Persona Reflect the REAL You?

Why You May Need To Quit Being Such A Sour Susan

online_persona

I fully admit that I like to be liked. If you don't like me, I'll jump through flaming hoops to change your opinion.

"Issues."

But this post isn't about me and my problems. It's about you and your problems. Kidding. You don't have problems. You're perfect just the way you are. See? There I go trying to make you like me. 

Read the whole post

Apr
09
2015

How a Simple Playdate Became a Game Changer

Sometimes a playdate is just a playdate, but sometimes it can be so much more.

sad girl

My daughter was born to party. This playful little kid of mine is incredibly social. The crazy thing is, when she was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder as an infant, doctors told us that in addition to the possibility that she might not walk or talk, she would almost certainly fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. I found it impossible to believe that my smiley baby would one day recede into herself, possibly preferring solitude over the company of others. 

Read the whole post

Mar
20
2015

"Spring has sprung, the grass has riz, 
I wonder where my cocktail is?

"

Oh, here it is. Right beside my lounge chair. I guess I was lost in the solitude and misplaced my glass for a moment. Ahh, sweet serenity.

The Top 5 Pitcher Drinks For Summer

Read the whole post

Feb
27
2015

Master the Art of Small Talk in 5 Easy Steps

Party Chit Chat Can Be Awkward, But It Doesn't Have To Be

talking balloons

I was pretty shy growing up so it took years and plenty of practice before I felt comfortable-ish engaging in small talk. I'm horrible with names, easily distracted, and my brain-to-mouth filter is unreliable. These factors, plus my fear of awkward pauses (I over-compensate by spouting ridiculous random facts) can take small talk from "mildly awkward" to "stick an olive fork in me, I'm done" in seconds.

Read the whole post

Feb
26
2015

Smartphone Fun: How to Play "The Dirty Duos" Game

Amuse Your Friends With Tech In Under 10 Seconds!

Dirty Duos Game

The original "Fun With Auto-Correct" game (totally made up and ridiculous) takes advantage of Auto-Correct’s persistent need to decide on your behalf what twisted word you were mayyyyyyybe thinking of typing. 

Read the whole post

Feb
12
2015

Valentine's Day Is Useless

Reasons Why I Have No Love For V Day

anti-valentines-day

Party Mummy, should by name, embrace any opportunity to celebrate, right? Totes. But Valentine's Day is where I draw the line because... Valentine's Day is F❤️CKING stupid. There, I said it. 

Here's what irks me about V Day (That's Valentine's Day, not Veteran's Day. Veterans are cool.):

Read the whole post