Help! I Have a Boy (AKA a Walking Disaster Area)

If women would still be in caves without men, I am hip to go cro-magnon.

My husband's favourite "joke" is how women would still be in caves if it weren't for men.

Well, here's how my day began:

6:45 AM: Alarm goes off.

6:50 AM: Poke husband in ribs with elbow to push him out of bed.

6:51 AM: Husband yells down hall at eight-year-old boy child to hop in shower with him.

6:51:02 AM: Boy child yells back that he washed himself two days ago (under duress, I might add) and is "clean."

6:51:03 AM: I pull covers over my head.

6:57 AM: Husband tells son (loudly) to go get dressed and socks and underwear are in the basket in the basement.

6:57:02 AM: Son starts crying that he has no socks.

6:57:03 AM: Me: (Not a morning person)


7:03 AM: Kid decends steps to kitchen on butt because he likes the thumping noise.

7:04 AM: Husband sits on foot of bed and begins to watch YouTube videos while getting dressed.

7:04:07 AM: I give up trying to sleep and go to desk to get some work done early.

7:35 AM: Husband yells at kid time to get ready to go.

7:36 AM: Husband yells at kid time to get ready to go.

7:37 AM: Husband yells at kid time to get ready to go.

7:38 AM: Husband yells at kid time to get ready to go.

7:39 AM: Husband yells at kid time to get ready to go BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE NOW.

7:40 AM: Husband and boy child exit.

7:41 AM: I exit room go get my first cup of tea. 

And that's when I do this:


It begins the moment I leave my office. My son's light and closet light are on. There's clothing on the floor, which baffles me because yesterday afternoon we gathered up and did dirty laundry. Bed is unmade. Toys are everywhere. I shut the lights off and shut the door before I have a stroke.

I descend to the main level. There's three pairs of pants hanging over the edge of my couch. There's a pile of used lunch containers and school flyers sitting on my ottoman by the front door. 

There's a basket of laundry next to the basement stairs.

I enter the kitchen.


The dishwasher is hanging open. There's an open Calvin and Hobbes book at my son's place at the table. There's also a dirty plate, an open tub of margarine, and a Nerf gun.

Someone put a towel on my spot.

Husband left my laptop on.

And the icing on the cake: There's three pairs of socks in random locations: counter, floor and chair.

It is 7:45 AM and I am already tired.

Maybe the cave I would be living in without men would be cleaner...

RELATED: Clean Your House By Doing This One Thing

Anne is one of those people who usually speaks to others in memes, pop culture references, and SAT words. On those occasions she can be understood at all, she likes to entertain others with a sense of humour usually described by friends as “hilarious—once you get to know her.”