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We hear it at the bar and the gym—they hear it in the playground and at summer camp.
People just fling it out there without consideration of its impact. For a person reconciling their sexual orientation, the connection between "homo" and "stupid" can feel mean-spirited. It can be especially damaging for young people figuring out that they’re gay. Saying "that’s so gay" when really a person means "that’s so stupid," or "that’s so uncool" is really stupid and really uncool.
Sure, words can have multiple meanings. And as a thinking species we can distinguish between words with multiple meanings from the context of their use and the way in which they are spoken.
"Maybe they mean happy. But probably not," said my son. Evidence of the thinking species.
There are a lot of words that hold power in our society even when used without malice. It’s great if your kids don’t say "that’s so gay," but they’re going to hear it, so helping them understand its impact is part of raising thoughtful and intelligent people.
Letting our kids know that their words matter is empowering. Their voices are strong and have impact. If their current word choices are hurtful, even when unintended, we are obliged to gently point it out to them. It’s what will make the world safer and friendlier for all of us.