My action plan for my 30s

When I turned 30 I wrote a letter to myself. I had completely forgotten about it until I sat and read every line (with a glass of red wine in hand) on my 32nd birthday last week. I'm proud to say I've started some of these, but embarassed to say I haven't made a dent in others...here's what I told myself my 30s would look like.

The Letter

Ok, I’ll admit it I’m scared. There is something about being “in my thirties” that just scares the crap out of me. I’m not sure what it is.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m seeing those around me get sick or pass away, and I yearn for the years when I was sheltered from that kind of pain.

Maybe it’s just that my twenties were so amazing that I can’t believe they are over. I mean, in just 10 years I graduated college, met the guy of my dreams, married him, bought my first home, found a career that I’m truly happy with and had the most amazing little boy in the world.

I guess I’m entering my 30s having accomplished what I thought would never be attainable for me in twenty years let alone ten —education, love, success, and happiness. And I did it without a gray hair, wrinkle, or mom jeans. But that means the next phase of life is when I really become an adult.

So what’s my worry:

• I worry that I missed out on opportunities to grow, to truly give back to my community…
• I worry that the ‘me’ that everyone loves will just get old and annoying (I mean can you really say “fart” in your 30s without looking like a complete moron??)
• I worry that my looks will go downhill (and let’s face it, I’m no Jessica Alba to begin with).
• I worry that I’ve had so many close calls health wise that I’m due for disaster and now I’ll be leaving the two most important people in my life behind.
• I worry that I’ve neglected my friends and missed out on chances to be their shoulder to cry on.
• I worry that the impact I’ve had on the lives of the people around me hasn’t been enough and that those most important to me will forget about me.

So here’s my action plan:

In my 30s I will

Love my Family:
• Tell my husband I love him every day, and make sure that he knows it.
• Take my husband out on dates and generally put more effort into making him feel loved.
• Tell my son I love him every day, and make sure that he knows it.
• Give my son hugs until he can’t stand them anymore.

Choose health:
• Listen to what my body tells me and not be too proud to ask for help (If I’m going to see 40 this damaged carcass has to last!)
• Create a healthier environment for my family with healthier meals, and lifestyle choices.
• Learn how to relax. (Is there a book for this?)
• Reacquaint myself with my soaker bathtub.

Value Others:
• Not sell people short.
• Send thank-yous to people who deserve them—and not just emails, I mean real notes. With stamps and everything.
• Spend more time talking with friends—even if it is just by phone.
• Devote more time to my community and teach my son the importance of doing the same.
• Ask people for feedback—at work and at home—on ways that I can improve myself and make myself more valuable to them.

Enjoy Life:
• Ignore the pile of laundry sometimes and not feel guilty for it.
• Journal so my family understands what goes on in this crazy head of mine.
• Play through the pain (that means no complaining too!)
• Write a novel.
• Get in front of the camera for a change.

I hoped by the time I finished writing this that I would be less scared, and to be honest I’m not. But looking back I guess my fears are common and valid which at least eliminates my worry that I’m entering my thirties as a complete nut bar. At least now I’m seeing that there is a bigger picture to the next 10 years, and even if I’m living them with a broken back, heart, or soul—I’m going to live them to the best of my abilities.