When I was 19 and in my first year of university, my then 17-year-old roommate taught me a lesson that has served me well. She said that one should never write anything negative down to someone, rather deliver the message verbally. So, if you’re angry at your friend, tell her about it, don’t write to her about it. Think about it: It’s painful to hear criticism, and when it’s written down you can go back time and time again and relive that pain. The mind has a way of softening our memories of hearing difficult things. Plus, when we speak to each other about uncomfortable issues, we tend to try and find some resolution before the end of the conversation. It’s usually a softer experience all around.
This week it seemed everywhere I turned I saw people writing down things I just wish they wouldn’t. The don’t-write-it-down rule absolutely applies in your business life as much as it does in your personal life. Are you angry with a supplier who has let you down? Well, tell them, but don’t fire off a nasty e-mail. Cranky with a difficult customer? NEVER write an unpleasant e-mail! If you must, pick up the phone to get into it. Or, in the case of a customer, don’t bother—it’s bad for business and it’s never worth it. Think of it this way: Before you write an e-mail to anyone, ask yourself if you would be comfortable finding out they had read this e-mail on the day their mother died. In other words, imagine the recipient is having a terrible time. Would your e-mail help or hinder? There aren’t many messages that can’t be delivered civilly and there are lots of ways to let someone know you mean business without being rude.
Same goes for using social media. It’s so tempting to fire off a quick missive in response to something we see online. And who hasn’t wanted to blast a company they are having trouble with via Twitter or Facebook? Not only is it bad karma —remember there is an actual person at the other end of your communication—but it’s also bad for your personal brand and for you. Before you write anything online ask yourself if you are comfortable having it attributed to you for all time.
In short—look before you leap, and think twice before you hit ‘send.’
Printer-friendly version