It was a simple sentence uttered on the playground by a neighbourhood mom. As we watched our boys playing, our talk turned to how hard it has been to get my kids out the door in the mornings. Recently, my five year-old son has decided that every step of the morning routine is unnecessary. The chart that was so effective at keeping us on track no longer holds any weight. And that particular morning had been, let’s just say, plain difficult.
It’s easy to enjoy parenting when you’re riding the highs, but enduring the lows with equal enthusiasm might be one of the biggest challenges I face in my daily life as a parent.
When I became a parent—or rather, as soon as I was visibly pregnant—everyone seemed to have advice for me. Whether I asked for it or not, I was inundated with other people’s opinions about childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, strollers, soothers, baby carriers, bouncy chairs, tummy time, etc. Although I have been on the receiving end of much (oh, so very much) unwanted advice, I have also heard some stellar pieces over the seven years I’ve been a parent.
Before having kids, I read the following quote by Nora Ephron: “Having a baby is like throwing a hand grenade into a marriage.” At the time I laughed and thought—in my naive, pregnant state—that it would NEVER be like that for my husband and me. Well, fast forward to seven-and-a-half years of parenthood, and my husband and I have spent a fair bit of time picking up shrapnel.
Last month, someone that I’m close to said something to me and my husband that I found extremely hurtful—it was a statement about my kids that drew into question my (and my husband’s) parenting style. The words, as I heard them, hurt me to the core.
At the beginning of 2012, I wrote a post about how different the “new year” felt for me this year. That my phrase for the year would be “where attention flows, energy goes.”
Change. It is in the air. Fall is handing over the reins to winter. The weather is shifting, the last of the leaves are falling, the dark comes early, and we’re seeing glimpses of holiday lights and Christmas decorations. Some people bemoan the change from our crisp autumn days to the snowy flurries of winter. Some people embrace the onslaught of winter and all the outdoor adventures it offers. I love the way the city slowly changes at this time of year. There’s a certain quiet in the air, yet you can feel the anticipation of the holiday rush.
When we have kids, we mark the passing of time by referring to certain milestones or “firsts”: The first time the kids sit upright on their own, their first foods, their first attempts at crawling, their first steps. As parents we watch these moments with a mixture of excitement and sadness - the joy of discovering a new stage in our child’s development, and the quiet lament for the stage left behind. Time moves forward. And keeps moving.
