What parent hasn't thrown their hands up in a moment of exasperation, wishing children came with instructions. Ah, but that would be too easy! However, in our role as parents amidst endless dilemmas and demands, we discover an extraordinary journey of Self-Discovery.
But this just sounds like a lofty platitude when we are overwhelmed by nightly feedings, potty-training mishaps, sibling rivalry or embarrassing public tantrums (theirs and OURS!).
It can get tricky! There are no easy answers in raising the next generation. I'll admit- I was a PERFECT MOTHER-until I had kids! But perhaps there are clues, and I believe they can be found inside the children themselves.
My Children are My Compass Reading my children provides insight needed to navigate any terrain, keeping us all on track. Attuning my heart with theirs by seeking to understand how they are experiencing their experience, is how it is done. To orient ourselves in empathy does take time and energy, but the outcome is a happier home-life with secure and loving children.
RULE OF THUMB #1:
Every child is a star!
There really is no such thing as A Gifted Child in my books because ALL children are gifted in someway or another, no exceptions. Remembering this can give us patience and insight into our children's particular needs and tendencies.
A fascinating story about a boy on Oprah Due to this child's incapacity to sit-up, crawl, walk or talk he was labelled by specialists as a vegetable. His mother never accepted this bleak prognosis of her son. She would read him bedtime stories, carry his frail and motionless body to the beach on sunny days and explain all matters concerning him despite his eternal silence
One day an idea came to her which might finally give expression to the imprisoned song she knew was in his soul. Creating a homemade alphabet board, she placed it on the table directly in front of her son. Propping him up so he could see, she then placed his lifeless hand onto the letters. Lightly cupping his elbow from behind, immediately she could sense nearly imperceptible signals registering his intent to move!
Careful not to actually guide him in any particular direction, she patiently and with great sensitivity facilitated the expression of his will; it was a slow and painstaking process. But eventually she deciphered the formation of a word, and then another. She scrambled for a pen. Sure enough his message had been liberated:
To judge other is to judge God. RULE OF THUMB #2
Aside from #1, THERE ARE NO RULES! Because like snowflakes, no two children are ever exactly the same. Every stage of their development is different and everyone's destiny is original.
Children are love letters from God
All people are endowed with inestimable potential - to overlook or underestimate even one is like letting a library burn down! If we can embrace each temperament that every child so uniquely possesses, somehow, mysteriously, the way is shown.
There are many great spiritual paths to elevate us; yoga, martial arts and meditation among them. And I like to think I have grown from each one. But for me the Mother of them all is just being my children's mom.
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