As the school year comes to a close, I want to mingle and party but...I'm tired. So my neighbours and I take turns hosting easy "Wine-d Down Parties." It's simple and casual and the perfect way to head into summer. 

When school officially ends, my school-mom-sistahs and I go our separate ways—road trips, family vacations, and camping. Summer is... "in-tents." Pun intended. So this party is pretty much our only opportunity for quality time together before we all scatter into the summer winds.

At the majority of social events I attend or even at ones I host, I'm usually the root cause of at least one awkward moment. 

Here are seven social situations to illustrate my point. Maybe you'll see yourself in some of these examples? I can't be the only one. Please tell me I'm not the only one. 

Summer means colourful cocktails garnished with fresh fruit and pretty paper straws. Summer also means easy entertaining. No muss, no fuss, just cool casual fun with friends and family. This is why I love these simple slushies!

A few years ago my friend sent me a link to an article about a disorder I had never heard of. She said, "I think this is what WE have!!" 

She was right, and chances are if you're a 30+ woman you might have it too.

Whenever I see it, I just can't believe it. You actually went there?!

As the parent of a child with special needs, maybe I'm just more sensitive than you are to certain words or phrases that belittle my child. 

Scratch that. I like to think that even if my child wasn't developmentally atypical, I'd still be sensitive to hurtful words and sayings that serve no purpose other than to harm. 

Fact: Having a basic theme in place for your dinner party makes the planning and hosting so much easier.

One of the most popular themes (at least in my casa) is DIY Taco Night! Set up a Taco Bar at your next party and people will be taco-ing about you for weeks! In a good way...not like the way they talked about you after that Christmas party when you did that thing. You know, that thing that we're never aloud to mention again. 

Warning: This post is yet another disgusting peek into the world of gross ailments. (Did you read about my recent encounter with Shingles?) There's just no prettying up a story about WARTS. As they say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Plus, now you've exposed yourself to hogwarts (that pun's gonna kill with the Harry Potter crowd).

If you invite my daughter with special needs to a party she'll RSVP a resounding YES in giggles and jumpy claps and possibly a high kick. Her desire to connect with other humans, kids or adults (she's not picky) is one of the reasons we entertain often and host a lot of craft/baking/holiday theme parties at our house. She isn't invited to many parties, so we bring the party to her!

I went to my doctor recently with six or seven red welts on my hip that I suspected were spider bites. (Thank you to my brother for putting that horrific thought into my head.) I also wondered if I could be allergic to my new jeans — specifically the dark wash that was dying my skin blue. My husband helpfully suggested the hives could be from “tight pants and all the rubbing.” He paid handsomely for that comment. 

You've heard the term "Food Porn?" People use it to describe photos of food so sinfully decadent that it borders on pornography. 

I think it's time to take the term literally by hosting a Food Porn party! Dull dinner parties are passé, but Food Porn Parties are hot! If you consider silly and ridiculous and something to do for the puns alone, hot. I do. 

I've been so obsessed with the concept of sleep (or lackthereof), that it keeps me up at night. And when I do sleep, it's with one eye open—my husband says it's creepy/sexy. 

Familiar with Urban Dictionary? This hilariously TMI website has been putting the dick in dictionary since 2004. If you've never heard of it, it probably means you're more "mature adult" than "dirty bird." I won't say which category I fall under. *squawk-flap-peck-poops on a car windshield* 

This is no ordinary dictionary. Poor Webster would roll over in his grave if he knew that this kind of word defining resource was looming in the future. 

There have always been bullies on the playground and mean girls lurking in the school washroom. Their presence on the internet was inevitable—it's a more convenient place to beat up the nerd, shame the slut, and humiliate the chubby kid. 

To understand that my daughter will likely never become a mother guts me. So I try not to think about it. But it’s hard to ignore the facts when your kid is patting your neighbour’s pregnant belly saying, “Dares a baby in dare? Awwwww. I can’t wait to see your baby. I’m going to have a baby too.” For weeks since my daughter found out this new baby was on the way, she’s been walking around with her rubber Dora ball tucked up inside her shirt, rubbing her tummy saying, “I’m going to be a mummy!

As Thanksgiving approaches you'll likely read a "What I'm thankful for" post or ten. This is NOT that post.

There are some catch phrases that start out cute and you're like, "That's so funny. I LOVE that expression. Say it again. More, more!" Until everyone jumps on the bandwagon and suddenly you're like, "Lop off my ears with a butter knife if you must, but please make it stop!" 

I'm not talking about grammar gaffes like, "I seen it on the T.V." or "That's what youse guys said, supposebly." Those are unfortunate linguistic errors that don't warrant mockery. That would just be mean. 

This summer marks the six year anniversary of my appointment as "Party Mummy" here at YMC. So, I'm taking a moment to look back at why I love writing and living this blog. 

I'm not a wine snob. I'll happily drink an $8 bottle of white without complaint unless it's awfully oaky or sickly sweet. Then I'll scrunch up my nose and wine whine until somebody refills my glass. 

I also enjoy a spritzer—the usual kind, soda and wine over ice. These wine spritzers make a refreshing, alcohol and calorie-wise alternative to a regular glass of wine.

Here are a few things I discovered this summer—plus a campfire cocktail you're going to want to try!

1. No matter where I sit at a campfire I will be blinded by smoke within 30 seconds. 

2. I can actually survive a week in the wild without wifi.

3. A leech can be removed from your foot by dosing it with a few drops of rubbing alcohol.