Andrea Loewen Nair: Connect-Four Parenting


A to Z of Taming Tantrums: S is for Soothing Techniques

Need some toddler calming tricks? Try these!

A - Z Taming Tantrums |

Thank you for watching the next video in our A to Z of Taming Tantrums series. Today’s letter is S and S is for Soothing Techniques.

These techniques are for when your child is back arching, raging mad and needs help to start the calming process. As I mentioned in the video, some children do not want to be touched, so please only touch them if they are okay with that (assuming safety first).

When the fight-or-flight reaction is locked in, physical touch can sometimes help pull that person out of “cobra mode.” In this week’s video, I discuss four techniques to try with your upset little one.

Here is a summary of the four techniques:

1. Mind meld

Hold your forehead to your child’s and breathe slowly until his or her breath starts to slow as well. As soon as you feel the breath calming, pull your child in for a hug.

2. Train tracks

Draw simultaneous lines down each side of your child’s spine from the neck to tailbone (not the other way). Do these slowly and with a bit of pressure—but not too hard. You can ask your child if (s)he would like you to press harder or not. Sometimes thinking about the answer to this question helps the calming process.

3. Crown to nose line

Beginning at the crown of the head, slowly draw a line down your child’s head, forehead, and nose. Repeat in the same direction. If you child is tired, this might actually put him or her to sleep! I have put many babies and toddlers to sleep this way. If you’d like help getting a wired up child to sleep, I suggest reading this article and this one, too.

4. Inversion

Hold your child in a hug and bend forward. You can add a slight jiggle if your child likes that. Come back to standing or sitting and try that again if your child is okay to do one more.

The fight-or-flight reaction is a powerful one that can completely take over our children. Pausing to help them get back into “thinking mode” can stop a tantrum in its tracks. I’d love to know how these techniques work for you and your child! Please do comment on the video link or over at my Facebook page.

 RELATED: You Can Find The Entire A to Z Tantrum Taming Guide Here

We're so excited to share with you the A to Z of Taming Tantrums video series! 

Each week we'll share the next letter of the alphabet and Andrea will discuss how it relates to reducing tantrums - and improve our experience as parents! You can view each video here as they are added each Friday.