A to Z of Taming Tantrums: U is for Understand

Welcome back to the A to Z of Taming Tantrums video series! The letter I’m focusing on today is the U, and U is for Understand.

Understand what? Understand whom?

Actually, it’s a little bit of both. Understand means telling our upset children that we see their upset, we see something might have happen to trigger their reaction, and we see they are a good person.

One of the most frustrating things for a person is to believe someone either doesn’t understand or misunderstands him or her or the situation. Have you ever been in the middle of a tense situation only to have a person walk in half way and start accusing you of something that didn’t actually happen before taking the time to ask what the story is? This is certainly fodder for big reactions.

Tantrums are often de-escalated when we pause to fully understand the situation (and calm down) before considering how to respond.

The question I ask myself to keep “understanding” front of mind is this:

“I wonder what is happening in my child’s world?”

The answer to this question can often pull the tension down and keep us all focused on support and problem solving rather than pointing fingers and punishment.

I invite you to watch this video to learn more:

Consider how you can show your children that you get them—that they matter.

Do you have any questions or comments? Please feel free to post those on the YouTube video or over on my Facebook page.