I have been thinking a lot lately about what kind of mom I am.  We do that, don’t we? us moms.  We define ourselves, group and judge, choose.  Choices tend to go along with other choices – if we have a midwife and we breastfeed then should we co-sleep? If we give the seven-year-old organic food and limit TV, do we get them a DS for their birthday?

Are any of us really just one thing?  

I hate defining parenthood as if it was a simple choice to be “this type of mom”.

I am not a kind of mom – I am a mom.  I am me.  I breastfed all my children and sleep with them but I believe sugar and TV are the rights of the young.  I am not a stay at home mom, or a work from home mom…I am a work from wherever there is a plug, or a signal mom.  A flying by the seat of my pants mom.  A business owner who refuses to discuss how my partner helps me until his office starts calling me.

I love my children, but I also love their nanny.  

I am faced with the issue at birthday parties.  We send our children to a Waldorf school, a wonderful choice for our family and a privilege for the children.  But if you know Waldorf or read about it a bit you will know that a blackberry addict, business running, New York and Las Vegas loving, Mac book carrying Mama might not quite fit in.  I cannot sew a stitch and I would sooner die than wear a jumper.

So birthdays roll around and we invite every child available to our house for a super party.  I love to bake and do not live by any kind of half assed standard – so the cake is multi layered, fondant covered, greatness.  But I always struggle – do I hide the Transformers?  Do I lock the Playstation in the office?  In the end I don’t, I realize that I don’t really care what any of the other moms think and go right on being me

I worry about new moms.  That they don’t know that there isn’t a type of mom or a rulebook.  We all just love our kids and do our best and mess them up in our own special way.  I do not want to loose myself to the motherhood experience.  I want to look at my kids and be able to say that they know me - with all of my flaws and greatness.  I hope that will give them permission to know and love themselves.

So what kind of mom are you? Attachment parenting, Ferber loving?  Most likely, you are somewhere in between - on a unique journey, with your one of a kind child through the joys and sorrows of real life.  Labeling, and judging divides us at a time when we should be together in a motherhood tent wiping puke off our track suits and business suits and buying “homemade brownies” for the class picnic.  Together.