Remember in Dirty dancing, Patrick Swayze held his arms up and showed Baby his personal space and her personal space? Well, in the dance of life, we all need our own space too. Choose your partner wisely because Stairway to Heaven is coming on.
I am one of the lucky ones. I have heard the horror stories, seen people cry out of frustration, and witnessed complete melt downs. I am happy to say that my ex and I don’t have that relationship, which is great because we do have a child together, so we will be in each others lives for a very long time.
Don’t get me wrong, we have our moments. There have been days when I have thought him completely irrational, and there have been days when, in hind sight, I know I was completely irrational. We work through it, and in general we say sorry when we are in the wrong. (Or ignore it till it goes away, just like any family)
It’s interesting, we get along so well, as friends. We still call one another and chat. He has even come over for dinner, but we cannot live together.
I don’t want you to think that the decision not to live together was an easy one. We, of course, wanted what was best for our daughter. Two years, and many heart-wrenching moments later, I am certain that we made the right decision. I am a million times happier, and I am sure he is too, but most importantly, our daughter is happy.
I am not delusional enough to think that she will be unaffected by our decisions, big or small, but I am certain that with good communication we can all be happy.
Like any 4-year old, Rebecca has a melt down here and there, unlike most 4-year olds, she knows that saying it’s because she misses her dad will tug at my heart strings. There are times when I think “I deserve that”, but her dad and I talk, so we know it happens at both ends. We know it generally happens when she is about to get in trouble, or when she is tired, so we have learned to take it with a grain of salt. I always tell her that it is okay to miss daddy, and then we talk about when she will see him next. We call every night too, and they have a good chat, time providing. We also see him every Sunday at gymnastics.
It’s a dance, and it’s hard to know who is leading and who is following. Sometimes we stumble, but you have to hope that the judges aren’t looking at that moment.
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