You don’t hear people speak openly about their lack of desire to breastfeed. They don’t want to risk the inevitable fire and brimstone that will befall them.
I spent months pouring over parenting and newborn books while pregnant with my first born. I was particularly obsessed with how-to breastfeeding manuals.
The United Nations of Breastfed Toddlers set a modest goal of 100% compliance. Failure to comply may result in tantrums in accordance with international law.
“Think of your breast as a big juicy burger,” my midwife said, while squeezing my massively engorged breast, shoving it into my impossibly tiny newborn’s mouth
