Let's be honest, bibs don't work. Sure, they're good at slowing down the spills down the front of your kid's cute t-shirt, but at the end of every meal session you still have to change their pants.
Yes, there's no apple sauce stains on the shirt, but there are mushy peas, soggy crackers and pieces of pasta all stuck in the corners of their chair. Even if you have a bib with a pocket (we love Kushies) it's still only going to catch part of what slips off the spoon.
I've come up with a solution and I don't think the product exists. If I ever had 10 minutes to sit in front of the Dragons on CBC's Dragon's Den, this is what I'd pitch: The Baby Bib Spray Skirt.
Kayakers can do multiple dips and rolls without getting their hulls filled with water or soaking themselves because of the spray skirts they wear that forms a tight spill proof seal between their chest and their boat. The skirt wraps around the lip of their pod and seals them in tight.
My wife and I have had discussions about how exactly The Baby Bib Spray Skirt would work, considering the many designs and dimensions of high chairs on the market. While we haven't quite figured out how it would work, we maintain the idea is a brilliant way stop the spread of bits and pieces from finding their way into the nooks and crannies of the high chair seat.
That's our million dollar idea, but we don't know what the next step should be. Do you know if this product exists? How can I sell it to someone to make my millions?
What great invention idea are you sitting on?
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I'm not an overweight doofus sitting on a couch watching football. I don't constantly get lost, but if I do, I'm not afraid to ask for directions. I don't spend Sunday mornings working on my car, admiring the sheen on the tires. I can change a diaper just fine on my own without a hazmat suit, and I have no problem asking other women in the pharmacy for help in making sure I'm picking up the right brand of tampon for my wife.
Watch a few hours of tv, however, and the opposite are the male stereotypes hammered into the collective consciousness.
Have you seen the recent displays at Real Canadian Superstore?
Memo to Galen Weston: I do the grocery shopping in my house. I do the cooking too. Dads are part of the family dynamic, and while "Mom" may be the CEO of the family, the duties get divided and I see many dads out early on Saturday and Sunday mornings pushing the kids around in a cart so Mom can sleep in.
Mom is busy, so is dad and I don't see how your beautiful display of pork tenderloin makes it easier on either of us.
I would think Ikea is a pretty much gender neutral shopping place as well. It has the DIY stuff to satisfy the manly fix-it stereotype and it has the clean and elegant designs to satisfy the girly pretty stereotype. Man and woman can walk the aisles of Ikea hand in hand and have a decent hour or two stroll, dreaming about how they'd like to do their home.
I've never seen an eye rolling dad take a time out on an Ektorp while his wife went on and on about which Billy to buy. Still, Ikea in Australia has found it necessary to create Mänland as a dumping ground for men.
Free hot dogs, Xbox consoles, pinball machines and nonstop sports action on TV could all be had in IKEA’s “Mänland,” as it was called during the four-day trial, while wives or other female shoppers made their way through the store unfettered. The best part of all? Women were reportedly given a buzzer so they wouldn’t forget to collect their male companions when 30 minutes of shopping was done. [source]
I'm sure many of you love the Ikea ballrooms. Smälland is a great place to dump your kids and get a solid hour of measuring, decorating discussion and color comparison on the showroom floor without whining interruptions from the kids. (Unless your wife doesn't do "ball rooms" and is constantly reminded of the Will and Grace episode where Karen went to a public pool and said "Why doesn't someone just pee directly on me.")
But Mänland? It was only a four day trial, but it still smacks of stereotype.
My fellow DadCAMP Dad, Anthony, remarked tonight: "On the one hand, it offends me. On the other hand, it sounds freakin' awesome."
I agree. We are men, after all.
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Parents are once again on edge after a 3 yr old boy was found missing from his home in Sparwood, BC this week. The face of the man believed to be involved in the disappearance will give you nightmares. The face of the little boy believed to be dragging three blankets and wearing Scooby Doo shorts will break your heart.
Having kids changes everything. Especially the way you watch the news.
Here's a piece I wrote about the "balloon boy" back in 2009 and how it affected me:
Don't let anyone ever tell you their life doesn't change after they had kids. It changes. Instantly.
From the moment you hear that first scream, you don't matter. The survival of that child is the most important thing in your world. That's an easy concept to grasp, but the thing they don't tell you is that the survival of every other child in the world is just as important.
5 years ago I would have been chiming in with the rest of the Twittersphere's one liner fiesta as "balloon boy" sped across a Colorado sky in a homemade balloon yesterday. But as I watched the news erupt, I had a different emotion. Like many other parents, my heart sank. I completely understood the inability for parents to watch their child every.single.second. of the day and could imagine Zacharie stumbling something equally dangerous.
I put myself in the place of the parents watching a silver jiffy pop balloon soar to 7000 feet before eventually plummeting back down, the whole while believing their 6 year old was inside. The fear, the dread, the angst is indescribable and while Twitter dropped some jokes, Dads got sober - fast.
@AnthonyFloyd: In skimming through my Twitter stream, it's readily apparent who has kids and who doesn't. Some of you childless ppl seem pretty heartless.
@dougsymington: Hope the wee balloon dude is ok. Meanwhile there are *many* 6 year-olds in your own communities in need of your support
@AnthonyFloyd: Since becoming a Dad almost 5 years ago, my emotional tolerance for "bad things happening to kids" has been acutely diminished #BoyInBalloon
@AnthonyFloyd: That's it. Can't watch video, too much chatter on Twitter. Going dark for a while.
@ChadNorthrup: 6 years ago I might have chuckled over the hot air balloon thing, but not today. Amazing how having kids changes my perspective.
@jaypiddy: As a father of a 6 year old boy I'll admit this really made me sad. - Boy in balloon: http://bit.ly/3K3Uv7
@mollywood: Also, seriously, thank god they found #balloonboy alive. I just cannot handle that particular type of tragedy.
@michaeleckford: I feel you balloon boy, I once hid under the family pool table in a motorcycle helmet. A box in the garage would have been way smarter.
@jaypiddy: If I was six and let that ufo sized balloon of my dad's fly off into the sunset. I would have hid too. #balloonboy
Now, as it turns out, our sympathy for the Father has spun on its head. He's a manipulating liar with anger issues who manufactured a situation to satisfy his own ego.
While you can shut down the Dad and decry the situation, you have to remember - there's still a little boy stuck in there.
As if to top that unfortunate parenting, another video to shock the senses of any parent came from Australia, where a stroller fell on to the tracks of a train seconds before it pulled in to the station.
Parenting is easy. It's the caring about every single kid on the planet that can break your heart every day.
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