From the outside looking in, you would think that I have it all pulled together, in the play room and in the bedroom.
I sell sex toys for a living. I have an image to uphold. What the image doesn't tell you is a very deep secret. I am here, as a yummy mummy, to get real and lay all the batteries on the table.
There are days, weeks that go by where I do NOT get busy in the bedroom. I don't even WANT to get busy in the bedroom. Polaroid snapshot of my life for you: Full time stay at home yummy mummy of three delightful mini people. One spectacular 9 year old daughter who is rapidly going on 19. One delightful 7 year old daughter who is a standup comedienne. One mischievous 3 year old boy. An angel with BLACK wings!
I am the chief shopper, chef, seamstress, chauffer, boo boo kisser, self esteem booster, homework captain, spelling test checker, bed maker, laundress, maid and oh so much more. I know that many of you yummy mummies are nodding your head in agreement here. At the end of the day‚ I am EXHAUSTED! Dead tired! I just want to get some sleep‚ some real sleep. The kind of DEEP sleep that you once had when you were NOT a yummy mummy. I am talking Saturday morning after a night out dancing kind of sleep.
I almost rush to the bedroom, bundle up in the flannel jammies and hop into bed and pretend I am asleep those nights where I know his eyebrows are wiggling at me (among other things). You would think that at the end of day, I would be scenting my skin, pulling on the crotch less panties, hopping into bed, turning ON the lights and emitting a low 'rawrrrr' mating call for my husband to respond to. You would hear bottles of edible body lotion being clicked open. Package of super slide lubricant being ripped open. Boxes of AA batteries being spilled out onto the floor and the low buzz of things that promise a smile, every time. Not so, gentle reader.
In our bedroom, it is lights out and let the snoring begin more often than not. My New Year's Resolution for 2010 was to engage in more self care. This included a promise to me to make more time in the bedroom. I came to the realization that in a year or two, no one would remember mountains of laundry on the back of the couch. What I would remember is longing for more time with my husband. Time alone, time closer together and time reconnecting with the man I feel so deeply in love with.
My advice to all you yummy mummies for this Valentine's season is this: Get in the shower, shave those legs and other bits that need some trimming, slide in between those clean sheets and rekindle that fire you had when you first met. You won't regret it, and he just might put that laundry away tomorrow morning for you!
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