Yummy Mummy Emem from Milton, ON asks:
I’ve been trying to transition my 22 month old to her toddler bed from the crib. It’s not working because she finds it easy to get up and follow me out of the room! Any suggestions?
Parenting Author Ann Douglas answers:
Dear Emem,
As you know, this is a big step for your toddler. She’s trying to figure out how bedtime works now that she’s out of the crib. And given that she’s used to following you around during the day, it only makes sense that she would want to use her new-found crib-free freedom to follow you around at bedtime, too.
As with anything else toddler-related, the secrets to finding a parenting solution are as follows:
try to see the situation from her perspective,
anticipate and trouble-shoot problems before they occur,
provide reassurance to your child if she is anxious or upset, and
lovingly ease your child into her new routine
Here are a few practical suggestions:
Make it easy for your toddler to want to stay in her room (if not in her bed) once you’ve tucked her in. Ensure that she has books to flip through, music to listen to, and some favourite stuffed animals nearby. You might even want to include a small amount of water in a sippy cup (in case she is thirsty).
When you tuck her in and finish reading her bedtime stories, let her know that it’s time to go to sleep: her body needs rest so it will be ready for tomorrow.
Respond to her calls when she calls you.
At first, she’ll be testing the parental response system to ensure that you’ll actually come when she calls you. If you didn’t respond (or you only responded some of the time), she would have a greater incentive to keep coming out of her room to try to find you. By providing her with the reassurance she is seeking, you’ll help her to feel secure, thereby reducing the need for these after tuck-in check-ins sooner rather than later.
If she keeps coming out of her room, stay calm and figure out how to deal with the underlying issue.
Remind yourself that your toddler is not trying to be difficult. She has some kind of unmet need and it’s your job as her parent to figure out what that need is (is she lonely or scared or bored or worried about where you are?) and to come up with a creative way of dealing with that issue. If she seems really restless, ask yourself whether her bedtime needs to be adjusted. Maybe she’s just not tired yet.
Good luck and thanks for writing.
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