Showering these days in private does not seem to happen very often. With my husband’s shift work, the mornings usually consist of me trying to pull off a five-minute shower, with the door open, praying that there are no loud bangs or high pitched screams. More often than not, I hear the little pitter patter of footsteps and get to wash in front of an audience of tough critics.
The other morning, my three-year-old decided that she would let me know exactly what she thought of my naked body in the shower.
"Eww…that’s gross. Your butt is jiggling," Jocelyn yells.
"That’s not very nice Jocelyn," I respond, while the two kids giggle and point.
"Your butt is jiggling and you’re not even moving! Why is it doing that?!?" my son chimes in.
They laugh hysterically until James gets the hiccups and then they carry on with the rest of their morning routine or driving me crazy. As they left the bathroom, all I could do was laugh and think, Can one’s butt really jiggle if they’re not even moving? Okay—that’s besides the point. I need to write a post about the post baby body and why we can become so obsessed about it.
he one thing that really annoys me about reading articles on body image, particularly after childbirth, is that it seems like the photos posted are a little dishonest. I often wonder if it is seriously the best picture the person has ever taken of themselves and then perhaps even helped a little with Photoshop. If I’m going to write to other moms about how I feel about my own body, I’m going to do it up a right with some real honest photos. I was very tempted to Photoshop out the gigantic pimple on my chin, but then figured that we’ve all had a zit or two in our lifetime. Who cares.
And of course before I go any further, I love my kids and would do it all again, despite all the things that having children did to my body. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I need to address something we mothers do to one another. We ask about the baby weight. Don’t do it. It’s great that some women lose their weight right away, but let’s not rub it in. I don’t ask you if anyone’s crater sized belly button is back to its normal shape, so let's not bother with the weight question either. And by the way, I don’t want to "embrace" my post baby body either. I work with what I have; I don’t need to do anything other than that.
(My push-up bra and spanx. Just a few of my secrets.)
When I get compliments from other moms, which I do on occasion, my immediate reaction is that I have somehow tricked them into thinking I look better than what I do. I tell them that my chest is held up with an amazing push-up bra, and I have spanx on underneath my dress to keep my tummy from becoming untucked, and I found some great foundation that covers up all the extra wrinkles I’ve acquired. Okay, so if you know me, you might be thinking I am totally exaggerating. Well, here’s the thing, women and especially mothers are hard on ourselves and each other. So, the reality is, most of us don’t like something about our body. And that’s okay.
Let’s be honest though and help one another out. My butt jiggles. I just realized that the blue lines on my legs are varicose veins. My daughter informed me that my stretch marks look like tiger stripes. My belly button may honestly have just made it back to it’s original size. My c-section scar just started to fade so it now longer looks like it is constantly smiling at me. My extra skin hangs only a "little" compared to when it once was a flap hanging over my jeans. My feet never went back to their original size, and I often feel like Sasquatch when most fashionable shoe stores don’t have my size.
I know—I’m a real catch. Honestly, I wrote this for the moms who think they’re the only ones that don’t "embrace" their post baby body. Be truthful with other moms because at the end of the day we are supposed to be on the same team. Tell another mom about your secrets and your insecurities. I love my family and myself, but that doesn’t mean I have to love my stretch marks or jiggly butt. To the moms out there that don’t love everything that pregnancy did to their body—I’ve got your back.
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