As a parenting educator, I make a point of sitting in sporting venues or playgrounds and watching parents interact with their children. No, I am not judging you—I am watching and learning. In this watching time, I discovered I could pick out the mothers of many children, because they seemed to be more relaxed and less irritated. I tried to distil what it was about them that made them stand out, and realized they had some traits in common.
Sometimes when I watch my child crumple into a screeching, sobbing mess at my feet, all I hear in my head is, “You have got to be kidding me! I don’t have time for this!” I can’t feel his pain, I can’t understand his mind, and I can’t find empathy for him.
I woke up this morning reminding myself of what to do when exhausted: one son woke me up the first time because he had to pee, the second time with scary dreams and then the other son woke me up at 5:45am because, “my eyes feel funny.” The routine is first to say this mantra until I believe it, “I will not start this day angry.” The next step is to think of one thing I am incredibly grateful for.
There are so many wonderful parenting writers and researchers out there, I wanted to provide a list of my go-to sources to make finding them easier. All the people here provide information that I trust. This is information based in solid research that made me shout with joy or move me to tears.
