I believe becoming a true and trusted Girlfriend is something you learn and earn over time. Maybe because I've been blessed with really great Girlfriends, I used to be under the false impression that anyone can be one. Wrong! That naive thinking has burned me more than once.
This article is not about revenge (well, maybe a little); instead, it's about the importance of keeping your good Girlfriends close, and dumping those who don't have your best interests at heart.
Yes, You DO Have Time To Nurture Your Friendships [1]
Oh, I should mention, I'm changing the names to protect the guilty.
Sabotage Suzie
I will never understand someone who actually befriends you and then turns on you. That's the lowest. I always imagine Suzie Sabotage saying "Oh I'm sorry…did my knife land in your back?" Uh, yeah. It landed right where you were aiming, Little Missy!
My Suzie Sabotage was a gal I worked with for years at my TV station where I was a nightly news anchor and investigative reporter for 12 years. I remember girls at work warning me that Suzie was out for herself, but I didn't listen (note to self: listen next time!). I also noticed she didn't have any other real Girlfriends (that is one of the biggest red flags!). Regardless, I went out of my way to hold her hand through some really rough times and did nothing but support her.
However, in a last ditch effort to keep her job, she had some closed-door meetings with the bosses claiming I didn't work as hard as she, she was a better journalist, and she even insinuated that I was having an affair with a co-worker. Oh, no, she didn’t! When the bosses told me she’d said that, I couldn't distance myself fast enough from Suzie, but I was honestly devastated. How could she say something like that when we were friends, and she knew it wasn't true? That's when I realized you can't teach or change a Sabotage Suzie.
But these WannaBes come with all sorts of names and issues:
Helen Hater
Just Don't Get It Gidget
Needy Nancy
Gayle Guilt
Competitive Cathy
You know exactly who I’m talking about, Sista! No matter what their names, you need to dump them, and dump them fast. I can guarantee you, while I have experienced each and every one of these so-called “girlfriends” in the past, I can promise you that not a one of them is in my life today.
At this stage of my life and in this economy, I definitely need Girlfriends (2.0) who make me a better person. It’s a new day, Girlfriend! Quality (not quantity) counts. So, unite and surround yourself with only TRUE Girlfriends (with a capitol G) and dump the wannabes. You’re life will be richer because of it!