I was thrust into motherhood believing my instinct would kick in. Instead, being a mom threw me into an earth-shattering identity crisis. 

He seemed to only have the strength to cry, and I couldn't even hold his hand. I thought my baby was going to die.

Envy. It’s one of those emotions we chastise ourselves for. We push the feeling down, and tell ourselves it’s a negative way to think. But what if it's not?