It's a game. A high-stakes, no-mistakes game of cat and mouse. A game requiring steely nerves and cunning strategy. A forbidden game that many adults are forced by nature to play.
A game known to scores of parental units as Secret S-E-X... Shhhhh...
Ah, yes, the Secret... shhhhhhhh... Sex Sessions.
Here's a typical transcript:
"What are the kids doing?"
"I set the up with a video. We're good..."
"Got 'em a snack?"
"Yep."
"Poured Ava some milk?"
"Yes"
"Why are you wearing so many clothes?"
"Come here you."
*mmmmmm... smmmmooch... mmmm*
"Do you hear something?"
"What? No..."
*MmMMmmMmmm... smoooooooch*
"Did you lock the door?"
*mmm...what?...mmm?*
"The door?...Did you lock it..."
"No..." *mmmmmm... smooch*
"Can you?"
"Okay, okay... geez. There. All locked up..."
"You sure...?"
"Of course, I'm sure..."
"Come here big guy. You look stiff. Do you need a rub?"
"Yes please..."
*MMMMMMMMM...mmmmm...ohhh*
"What was that?"
*MMMMMM* "...What?"
[Loud hoarse whisper] "I thought you said you locked the door?"
"I'm sure I...oh crap..."
"Someone's coming! Get off..."
"I was trying..."
"Quick..."
[Mom's nice voice] "Hi, honey what do you need?"
This Saturday's score...The Kids 1 - Mummy and Daddy 0.
Next Saturday's game postponed due to a trip to grandma's house.
IMAGE SOURCE: BALLERO VIA GETTY IMAGES