It’s always something with the beauty industry, isn’t it? One moment you’re happily ticking along, not a care in the world, the next you’re bombarded with images about what’s wrong with your appearance. No one is immune to these messages, because what’s “wrong” with your appearance runs the gamut from your uncoloured roots and split ends to your pedicure, or lack thereof.
Luckily, the beauty industry has a fix for anything that might ail us! Yes, very luckily indeed. First, it’s cellulite cream, and we are all dutifully rubbing (useless) caffeine-infused lotions into our bottoms and thighs, just in case other people have nothing better to do than stare at our rears when we are at the beach with our kids. Next, it’s lips. Our lips are too thin, we need fuller lips. Happily, there are a number of irritating lip products that will cause lips to swell and appear fuller, and if that doesn’t do the trick, there’s always collagen injections to consider. Bikini lines are too furry, eyelashes are not furry enough, hair should be anything but the way it is, naturally, and skin should be sun-kissed in appearance but not in reality. There is always some body part that is substandard, and that becomes the focus of much attention in beauty circles. Remember Brazilian bikini waxes, hair extensions, and 3D eyelashes? Me too.
And now our attention has turned to eyebrows. Eyebrows!
Jerry: She’s got great eyebrows. Women kill to have her eyebrows.
George: Who cares about eyebrows?
Well, George, a lot of people care about eyebrows. I was clued into this phenomena about a year ago when I posted a selfie on Instagram and was informed by a total stranger that my eyebrows looked abused, not unlike her dying plants. (Plants? Yes.)
Of all the things to feel insecure about, I never thought about my eyebrows. I have white-grey roots that show up three weeks after a salon visit, my undereye bags have morphed into undereye luggage, I have deeply etched forehead lines, a terrible case of bitchy resting face, purple Reynaud’s syndrome hands and feet, and a myriad of scars on my legs from varicose vein stripping. And now I have to add EYEBROWS to my list of self-esteem-destroying things?
No. I refuse.
Regardless, if eyebrows are your thing – and who am I to judge? - then help is out there. You may have heard about called microblading, guaranteed to transform your look one way or another.
Microblading is a semi-permanent eyebrow tattoo; the microblading artist uses a special tool to make tiny incisions in your skin and, using little needles dipped in pigment, draws on eyebrows hair by hair.
If you’re a person who spends a lot of time grooming your eyebrows, if you have very sparse or patchy eyebrows, or if you are very fair and would like more defined eyebrows, this procedure is for you. Personally, if left to their own devices my own eyebrows are a cross between Bert from Sesame Street’s and Martin Scorsese’s, so I think I’ll pass.
Microblading is not regulated, so if you do decide to try this procedure, make sure you find a reputable artist so you don’t end up like this:
Microbladed eyebrows can last one to two years, with touch-ups every six months. The good news about that is that if eyebrow trends change – and you can bet they will, I’ve lived through 80s Brooke Shields eyebrows to very plucked eyebrows in the 90s and 00s, and back again – you will not have microbladed eyebrows forever.
Hold on to your hats, because this is not a cheap date. Microblading generally starts at $450 but can run much higher, depending on the salon. Personally, I think this is something you don’t want to bargain shop for; if you’re doing something semi-permanent to your face, I think the adage “you get what you pay for” applies.
Should you get your eyebrows microbladed? I don’t know, I’m not your mom. However, if you’re a person who is legitimately self-conscious about your brows and who spends much time filling them in each day, or you’re a person who would like to just “wake up this way” then perhaps this procedure is for you.
Personally – and maybe this is just me and my hirsute brows talking – I think that it’s a lot of money for something that fades after two years. $450 can buy a lot of eyebrow pencils, if you know what I’m saying. This might be rich coming from me, a woman who never leaves the house without a full face of makeup, but I think you should embrace YOU. If you truly do think that this is for you, then do it for you. Don’t let the beauty industry make you feel like yet one more thing is wrong with your appearance. Remember that you are beautiful YOU, just the way you are – eyebrows or no eyebrows.