After reading baby books, prior to the birth of my daughter, then frantically working out with other Fit Moms to get my body back in shape...next came the biggest challenge of motherhood...going back to work and trying to manage that thing they call work/life balance. I was a career woman before Ava, my 21 month old daughter arrived on the scene and was determined to continue my climb up the corporate ladder. After all - men don't slow down or take a step back in their careers after they become parents so why would I?
But who could have perceived the challenges of balancing baby, husband, work, husband, life, husband and me time? Yes, we will touch on the husband situation later.
There are a million books on how to raise a baby, how to balance this or that - but until you have to face this situation nothing can prepare you for the insanity that is about to become your so-called-life.
As a business woman, I have always prided myself on my organizational skills, and that is probably what has kept me sane over the course of the last 16 months. Yes, as an overachiever, I returned back to work when Ava was just 5 months old. Some of my fellow mommy friends thought this was too quick, others secretly lived vicariously through me.
Let me tell you now there is no such thing as balance. The pendulum swings one way or the other.
Stability is a better word than balance. For me, stability is defined as living to a schedule. Whatever is important, fit it into the schedule. Make the schedule a part of your partner's vocabulary so they know what's going when and who needs to do what, when and at what time.
When I am not obsessing about the schedule, there is my other job - the one I get paid for. I am expected to show up for this job, no matter if I've had a sleepless night. My work is very demanding and is continuous. I work seven days a week.
Ultimately, no matter how much I plan or schedule my life, my boss, Ava controls me. Baby changes everything - my career is fabulous and I am probably more driven now to be a positive role model for my daughter.
My marriage is only now becoming stronger, because when baby arrives, and after the hormones subsides, communication is paramount for survival. Being in a partnership that is responsible for another human being is mind blowing. My husband, for all of his quirks, allows me to grow| have me time, focus on my career. He balances me.
Not sure there a balance you can strike after you have a baby, but I would not trade my crazy, scheduled not-so-carefree life for anything.
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