I sure have 'met' a lot of new friends lately! I have to admit, I'm loving it. I hear people clucking all the time about the loss of our ability to socialize face to face. They lament about their teenagers, who always have their faces buried in some electronic device and never talk to their grandparents anymore. For the love of God, as if they ever did! Teenagers are anti-social creatures who dwell in your basement. Unless you live in the mall, look like the cast of Twilight, or drape yourself in snack foods, they don't want to come near you. It's a fact. They pass through it, though, so don't take it personally. More on teenagers later . . .
Back to social media—I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, I entirely agree that people, of all ages, say things in message form that they would never dream of saying face to face. And do they truly mean the things they say? (LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BABY GIRL!!!) *barfy emoticon!* Really, do you really love her? You met outside a fitting room at Gap and became Facebook friends.
Perhaps, social skills are on the wane. I mean, you don't ever want to lose that ability to converse in human form. For example, you might need to ask someone for their awesome cheeseball recipe at a potluck. (I can only think of examples that involve food. Really, why else would you actually leave your house and try to relate to someone else?) And you need to teach your kids how to conduct themselves in the big bad real world. A text to your boss saying, 'Srry Im L8' just won't cut it.
However, being the socially awkward and highly annoyable person that I am, email and social media work wonders in my life. They allow me to relate to people, while avoiding them all at the same time! I'm sure it's just my questionable personality, but having a face-to-face conversation with certain people is like having a root canal . . . and a bikini wax . . . at the same time. Oh don't look so smug, you all know the people you'd like to avoid. Can't think of any? Let me share my list with you:
Nancy Namesayer: Yes, we can thank the abundance of "How to Network" books for the people who believe they have to use your name twelve times in a sentence. "Well, you see, Tracy, our industry is just the best place to be because, Tracy, you know we're just going great guns right now!!! Tracy, I think you'd really enjoy what we have to offer." Thank God you came along, Nancy, because for a minute there, I actually forgot who the hell I was, Nancy.
ADD Andrew: Andy can't be bothered to wait for your answer—he asks you a question then answers it for you. "You want a coffee? Oh, no, you probably just had a coffee. I guess we all have to stop drinking so much coffee. Is it snowing out? I have new shoes!!!" He is also guilty of asking a question, then taking off, leaving you answering your own sweet self. Yoohoo! Andy?
TMI Tammy: We get waaay more information than we need from Tammy. "Well, you know dear, ever since the surgery, I just haven't been as regular as I want to be. You know I have the diverticulitis, eh? I can't have peanuts or anything like that. My bowel just can't handle it." Whoa! That's quite enough, Tammy!
Halitosis Harold: Self explanatory. The equivalent of talking to a dog in great need of a minty milkbone. It's really too bad that it's socially unacceptable to plug your nose while conversing with someone. A tic tac wouldn't kill ya, Harry.
Personal Space Polly: A close relative of Halitosis Harold, Polly is not aware of the physical boundaries that should separate the two of you (my requirements for personal space are ambitious). You take a step backward, Polly takes a step forward. Soon, you are backed against the wall with your eye on the emergency exit. Back away, Polly, 'fore I bust out the ninja moves.
Recognize any of these characters? If not, I bet they are coming soon to a conversation near you!
Believe it or not, I actually love socializing with family and good friends (as long as there's food). Recently, our group of friends has been getting together for no real reason—just celebrating life. No keyboard, monitor, or social media platform can take the place of hanging out and laughing your fool heads off. #tweetshmeet . . . no contest!
Originally published Friday, March 2, 2012 on my blog: Tracy Takes The Cake
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