My husband, Zeb, and I have always been pretty good about having a regular date night. What we aren’t so great about is leaving our parenting personas at home.
With three children born in less than four years, it was hard to find a convenient time to argue, to discuss our parenting differences, and to fight about the important things that really make a marriage tick, like which direction toilet paper should be hung and who took the trash out last.
We would go out to dinner at a nice restaurant and argue heatedly through our appetizers and salads, whispering and hissing at each other as the waiter brought our food and cleared away plates. By the time our entrees arrived we would be friendly and smiling again and by the time we ordered dessert I was beginning to remember why I loved him so much. Then the check would come and we would go home to face another two to three weeks of parenting boot camp before repeating the process all over again.
Zeb’s solution to this was that we should get a babysitter on Friday nights, go to Taco Bell and for less than $20 we could fight like a couple of rednecks over bean burritos and fountain Mountain Dew. Then on Saturday, he proposed, we could go on a nice date where we could act like the civilized adults we actually are, without scaring the wait staff.
My solution (and obviously, the better and cheaper solution than two date nights in a row) is to date another woman’s husband. Date another woman’s husband. Maybe I should clarify, go on a double date with another couple.
We recently relocated and luckily for me, we are living less than a mile from Lizzie, one of my closest friends. When Lizzie invited the hubs and I to dinner we jumped at the chance like Heidi Montag at a photo op. I realized something really valuable on our double date: my husband and I didn’t fight; we were, in fact, nice to each other.
Having another couple with us all evening kept us on our very best behavior. We sat next to each other at dinner and held hands under the table. I laughed at the same old stories I’ve heard 100 times as he told them to people who had never heard them before, and I remembered how funny he really is.
I went on a date with the man I fell in love with, instead of the parent he has become…and it made me love him all over again.