Help! I'm in a Sex Rut

Dr. Trina Read helps couples get out ruts

get out of a sex rut

Question: My sex life has definitely hit a rut. What can I do to make it fun?

Dr. Trina's Answer
You have so many options the hard part will be choosing. The trick is you have to: (1) figure out new ideas; (2) be willing to break your sex routine and; (3) not take your sex so seriously.

Sex After Having A Baby: 5 Things Moms Need To Know

Let’s look at the average couple’s bedroom sex scene. They have: very little to no talking, no changing up of the old and tired sex routine, certainly no laughing, no toys, no games, no nothing.

Does this make you want to run to the bedroom and throw off your clothes? Yawn. Me neither. Curling up with a favorite book elicits more stimulation. It is easy to understand why, over time, kids, work, or hobbies often take precedent.

To change your sex routine, here’s a few pointers:
Talk. If you don’t talk about what’s going on in your sex life it will never change.
Understand the problem.
Separate the nonsexual issues from the sexual ones. What are the facts—not emotions—around any sexual challenges?
Teach each other new sexual techniques.

Everyone’s version of what constitutes a good time is different. Hence, creating a fun-space means sitting down and discussing what the two of you find enjoyable and, more importantly, how you will make time.

Sex In The Shower: Our Expert Comes Clean On Getting Dirty In The Shower

Great Sex Tip:
For inspiration, there’s a plethora of sex books at your local bookstore that give step-by-step instructions.


Relationship and sexual health expert, Dr. Trina Read, is the founder of and Sensual Tastes Events. She is a mom of two boys, a best selling author, a go-to media expert, magazine columnist, spokeswoman and award winning international speaker.