What to Do When HE Doesn't Want to Get it On

He's not cheating, but he doesn't want sex

Question: My guy’s sex drive has taken a nose dive. I know he’s not cheating, so what could it be?

Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t always the horn-dogs they’re made out to be. In fact, many times just the opposite is true. Consequently, there are a lot of things that can negatively affect his sex drive.

The most common problem is when he is under a lot of stress due to work or other pressures. When under a lot of stress, high levels of cortisol (your body’s stress hormone) lowers testosterone levels. Less testosterone means he has less drive to have sex.

It’s important for you two to figure out whether this is an ongoing stress, or if it’s simply a busy period in his life. If the stress isn’t going away, you need to have a heart-to-heart chat about how this is affecting your relationship. Either way, do your best to be supportive and help him figure out a way you two can make it through.

At the same time, it’s vital for you not to take this personally. Generally, women put the blame on themselves when their guy doesn’t want sex. Women think things like, “He doesn’t find me attractive” or “I must not be very good in bed.”

Remember: It’s not you, it’s him and his circumstance.
Great Sex Tip: Daily, affectionate touch is the easiest way to relieve stress and make each other feel relaxed.



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Relationship and sexual health expert, Dr. Trina Read, is the founder of VivaXO.com and Sensual Tastes Events. She is a mom of two boys, a best selling author, a go-to media expert, magazine columnist, spokeswoman and award winning international speaker.