This afternoon, I got a phone call from a guy I met who I have a MAJOR crush on (actually, I got a voicemail from said guy—I missed the call, because I was outside trying to convince my dog to take a bath). I was totally excited to get the phone call, and was completely giddy calling him back and making plans for a date next week, but now reality is setting in. I’m setting myself up for a potential disappointment.
I’m a 25-year-old dining room manager. I’m funny and creative, and he and I have a lot in common—we both love the classics, we took history in university, and in spite of being from different provinces, we went to the same small university, and now work in the same industry in the same tiny community. TOTALLY unlikely, right? I KNOW! There’s only one problem: He doesn’t know I’m a single Mom or that I’m separated from my husband and in the midst of getting a divorce.
Now, while everything in me tells me that he will be missing out if he can’t hack my life, I know I will ultimately be hurt if he tells me it’s too much for him. It makes me mad that I feel as if being a single Mom is working against me, when, in fact, my son is definitely the best part of my life. He is my proudest accomplishment, the best decision I ever made, and the most wonderful gift anyone could ever ask for. I am undeniably a better person, since becoming his Mom. While being a Mom is a huge part of my life, parenthood doesn’t define me. I still love the classics, hanging out at the beach, and being creative. I’m still Ashley. I am still goofy and spontaneous, just with a little bit more reservation than my pre-Finley self.
Since my marriage broke up (six months after we got married), I have gone out on a couple of little dates and even had a “special” friend, who was hanging out with us a lot and really embraced my son, helped me through fights with my ex, and even did the “dad” things—things my ex had never done. It was all too soon for me, though, and while I appreciated his effort, I felt that he was looking for an “instant family.” I’ve had a few guys express interest, and upon discovering that I have a kid, the interest drops suddenly. I keep trying to remind myself that I deserve happiness, and, in the words of one of my friends, "The right guy is going to see you with Finley and fall in love with you, because you are a great Mom and a beautiful person." I know in my heart that she is right, and that the right person is out there.
As I giddily plan out my date—outfit and day together—I've decided to adopt this mindset: Finley is the best part of me. If this guy can't accept that, it's his problem. Now to try on some pretty clothes . . .
XO Ash
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