Can You Enjoy Sex After Baby?

Yummy Mummy Sania from Hyderabad, India asks:

I am pregnant. I have heard that when a woman gives birth to a baby her vagina increases and she cannot enjoy sex as before.  If that is true, then how can we enjoy sex after the baby is born?  Please let me know!!

Dear Sania,

That's a great question and lots of women wonder the same thing.

After you give birth, if you do it vaginally and don’t have a c-section, your vagina will likely stretch. Your pelvic floor muscles may also stretch and some of the inner organs such as your bladder, uterus or rectum may shift a bit during the birthing process. However, if you are young, healthy and in good shape everything should slowly go back to essentially the way it was before. This may take three or four months or even longer. It is important to exercise all your body before and after pregnancy. Do your Kegel exercises to tone your pelvic floor or PC muscles (even while pregnant) so that you return to normal quicker.

If you have any difficulty with childbirth such as tearing or excessive stretching, then your vagina may not be as tight as it was before. You can start exercising your PC muscles after giving birth but the better shape your pelvic floor is in before pregnancy, the easier it is to go back to being as snug as you were.

If you find that you are still looser after childbirth, do your Kegel exercises. It is never too late to start them. The main problem after pregnancy seems to be sleep deprivation since new mothers spend a lot of time awake with their new babies. You may have sex as the very last thing on your list and nowhere near the top of your priorities. It is especially important during this time to remind your husband that you love him and want to spend time with him. Perhaps you simply snuggle and kiss and maybe even keep him company while he masturbates since you may simply be too tired for sex! Try to find time to flirt and maybe have the odd shower together while baby is sleeping. Short dates are good too even just to talk and be man and wife instead of dad and mom. Your man will need to know that he is still important in your life and that he still turns you on.

After you get used to being new parents and as you stop breast feeding, your sex drive will come back again. It tends to diminish once you give birth so your energy is available for your child. Don’t be at all surprised when you don’t want to have sex for a while. Pay attention to your man, do your Kegel exercises and all should work out great.

Congratulations on your upcoming new family! Things may not ever be the same the same as before, they’ll probably be deeper and even better!

Good luck!

Kim Switnicki, Sex Educator, Speaker, Author, Coach and CEO of Lioness for Lovers specializes in providing women ways to improve their sensual, sexual selves to experience deeply satisfying sex and the intimate relationships they deserve. For over 25 years she has been promoting healthy, positive

Her website Lioness for Lovers is a well regarded resource for ways to empower you to explore your sensual side creating amazing results in all other areas of your life. Sign up for her free E-Book on how to be sexier and more confident, her podcasts or her newsletter if you want to enhance your lovemaking, live your sexual truth and transform your whole life. Her expanding product line will expand your lovemaking and help you reach your sexual potential!

Kim has spent most of her life researching and studying sexuality as well as finding answers and providing solutions for thousands of women. She developed her coaching, NLP and counselling skills to blend with her extensive knowledge of sexuality offering a unique combination of sexual empowerment skills. Let Kim guide you as you embrace your sexuality in ways you’ve only dreamed of.