When Did Valentines Day Become a Kid's Holiday?

Sorry kids, not everything is about you.

Valentines Day for Kids

Kids, eh? They will suck you dry of your time and will to be an independently functioning person sometimes. And if they don't, the holidays on Pinterest will.

I couldn't help but notice this year as I was spinning through my chock-full of Valentine's day pin feed on Pinterest that I found only a few pins in the lot of them that were geared at all towards adults. Valentine's day school parties, family breakfasts, no-candy treat packs, heart-shaped crafts, printables, cutesy decor, and notes you can send to your family members. Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.

What the ever-loving hell is this? Valentine's Day isn't storge (familial love)And don't kids have enough? Christmas, Easter, Halloween, April Fools' - even Family Day, for cripes sake.

I've been married almost 18 years now. Valentine's Day has literally become the cliche, here. Even though I've told him repeatedly he's not obligated to, I anticipate that flowers will show up at some point. We'll do a mom-doesn't-have-to-cook dinner - which has ended up being pizza more than once (IDGAF) because babysitters are as rare as dinosaurs -spend some snuggle time watching TV, and then retreat behind a locked door. Basically, it's Mother's Day but with some hot perfunctory marital sex tacked on.

As far as my son goes? I buy the requisite number of boxes of cartooney Valentine cards for kidlet, spend an hour nagging him to fill them out and seal them, and call it good. That was good enough for me when I was a kid, and a brief lip service to a holiday that he'll eventually get to partake in sometime well after he gets over the whole cootie phase and starts to grow chest hair.  

In the meantime, I'm not going to bust my ass to fill my son's day with heart shaped thumbprint trees crafts, heart-shaped bacon and pancakes, Valentine's day school party popcorn and grab bags, and a billion sappy post-its written with little hearts for the dots on the eyes. Nope. No way. This isn't his day, and I'm not going to churn myself into exhaustion trying to make my son feel special and enveloped in a holiday that's about sex and romantic love between adults. (Like, frigging ew.)

Still, part of me marvels at how much effort the DIYers think we should go through for kids. Can you imagine how hot the holiday would be if we spent half that much energy on it for just ourselves and our partners?

Have we commercially diluted it so much with sugar and crap that us just can't "get it up" anymore for Valentine's Day?

We have a day for moms. We have a day for dads. (And don't think I haven't noticed stuff encroaching on those days, too.) We need to take this holiday back. To celebrate us, our togetherness, and Eros between two consenting adults.

Even if sometimes it involves a romantic candle-lit pizza dinner.

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Anne is one of those people who usually speaks to others in memes, pop culture references, and SAT words. On those occasions she can be understood at all, she likes to entertain others with a sense of humour usually described by friends as “hilarious—once you get to know her.”