“Divide and conquer” is a common and popular strategy for the division of labour in our families because the reality is that we are so busy, we can’t be everywhere doing everything at once. The deeper reality, though, is that so many of us shy away from engaging in household finance and understanding it, because of a long-time fear of or aversion to money and numbers.
Here’s the thing: shying away from or avoiding something won't make it go away, and when it comes to money and its management, everyone needs to have at least a basic understanding to ensure the smooth flow of their daily life: short term and long term.
So, to help strip away that fear, here are the top five finance tips every grown-ass woman needs to know to take care of herself and her family, regardless of what the family structure, dynamic, or division of labour looks like.
Unequivocally, this is the best (read: worst) kept secret of money management. You need your OWN credit card in your OWN name, and you need bills / accounts set up in your OWN name. Often what happens is that we couple off, combine our banking and our bills, and delegate one person to oversee it all for the sake of ease. And then life happens. Relationships - for better or worse - come to an end and families and lives are re-structured. And suddenly you are responsible for a whole whack of financials - and you have no credit history to speak of. If you take one thing and one thing only out of reading this, go set yourself up with some credit on record.
Regardless of what your job is as primary income earner, secondary income earner, or home maker, how much is coming in - and how much is going out - is a basic, but critical awareness to have that can make or break your financial success. Even if you find budgeting akin to water boarding, you need to have a good, solid understanding of where your money is coming in from each month, how much of it is spoken for, and where.
Let’s be real here and without shame. Obviously, the best time to start saving was years ago, and the reality is that for a lot of us that just didn’t happen. So be upfront with yourself about how much you CAN save and talk to a financial planner or accountant about the best way to make that your NEW reality (that’s right babe - you’re allowed to ask for help).
Likewise, be honest with yourself about your debt: do you have outstanding loans or credit card debt? Call for back up and make it your financial priority to tackle those debts with grace, pride, and a plan.
How many times have you driven out of your way to get to the “cheap” grocery store, just to pick up the one thing you forgot to get? How many times have you jammed work and life and family into one jumbled logistical mess, just so you could carve out two hours to clean the house? No more - your time is worth SO MUCH. You need to evaluate exactly what is and is not worth your time. Sometimes it just makes sense to drop $5 on milk if it takes you 1 minute to walk there versus a 30-minute round trip. Likewise, $20 a week on someone to clean your house feels a lot like buying freedom.
Further, if word has gotten out that you are slaying your hobby or interest, people are going to start asking you to help them with their own stuff. After a certain point, this is called “consulting.” Be sure to set very clear and loving boundaries about how much your time is worth in that area, instead of giving it away for free. This isn’t being a jerk; it’s having a great sense of self-worth.
Very few of us are given a proper financial education. Somewhere along the line, the narrative for so many of us is that wealth and abundance is for a select few, and it’s okay to shame them for that; “not being able to afford something” or living in a state of lack, sitting back and judging others for their money, is worn as a badge of honour. “Well it must be nice to live like that; I could never afford that.”
It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to value pleasure and the thought of having enough for you, and enough to share; enough to feel such comfort that you don’t need to feel anguish about the car needing new tires or the kids needing further dental work. Like attracts like, and if you can teach yourself to be grateful for what you have, and open yourself to inviting even more into your life, speaking in terms of what you WANT versus what you WISH you had, you might find that you get it.
Financial literacy is important - and ironically, most of us are never tight to be financially literate. If any of this information is new to you, don’t sweat it - you’re not alone! We’re all learning, and it takes guts to be self-aware enough to be honest with where you stand and what you know and take the next steps to better your situation. Step by step, girl. You’ve got this.
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