What is it with teenagers and chores? As the snow fell…and fell…yesterday, I considered how lucky my son was to have a snow day from school. “Perfect,” I thought as I gazed out my office window, “he can shovel the driveway by the time I get home!” Even as I type this, I realize the absurdity in that statement; how my hopes, however briefly, sparkled like the flakes of snow outside. Then I remembered—oh right, he’s a teenager. You know what I mean: those growing, brooding, awkward specimens who navigate the contents of refrigerators and cupboards like Tasmanian Devils, leaving in their wake only remnants of what was once considered food.
I got home from work, and needless to say, the driveway was untouched. However, my son was kind enough to call me and let me know he had been quite busy shoveling his friend’s driveway—for money of course. I didn’t feel I owed him payment for shoveling our driveway, and therefore, it didn’t get done. It’s not that I have any issue with the concept of an allowance; after all, most of us grew up getting one. He does get paid for doing things around the house, but yesterday I felt that, being home all day doing nothing, he may as well help out by clearing the snow. Apparently, he disagreed. I had to explain to him that contrary to what he might have heard through social media, doing things simply to help your parents does not cause brain damage.
So who has the faulty thinking here: him or me? We try to teach our kids the value of money and the concept of fair pay for work, yet here I was expecting him to work for free. It made me wonder if I had been wrong expecting him to shovel the driveway in exchange for nothing. On the other hand, doesn’t he get rewards in other ways? It is me who pays for his cell phone, bus pass, lunch money, video games—shall I go on? But there is definitely something about cold hard cash in hand that just feels different. There's something about finishing a job and being paid, actually paid, that means something else entirely to most of us, especially teenagers. I realized what that was—money brings freedom and a sense of accomplishment. With our own money, we can buy what we want when we want it, we feel liberated, we feel in control. The teen years are hard enough that just to feel in control of things, even for one, short snow day, can make a huge difference. So after much ado, my son finally did pick up that shovel and help out. He’s a pretty good kid after all; I think I’ll keep him.
Now, about walking the dog…
Printer-friendly version