There is a familiar cautionary tale circulating amongst fellow moms that your body will change after you have a baby. In an effort to assist new mothers to adapt to the rigours of parenthood, a few well-meaning moms may even divulge that your sex life will take a big hit. My first experience of life with a new baby proved these theories to be true.
I knew I didn’t look the same in my bathing suit, and I knew without a doubt that my sex life was not my top priority. Fast forward one year, and things seemed to be bouncing back just in time for the news that we were expecting our second child. Based on previous experience, I was sure of two things that would contribute to the total demise of my sex life: First, I had no interest in donning anything remotely sexy, and second, I was sure I would be even more tired than before, hence even less sex.
All of my post-pregnancy fears were compounded when I arrived home with a newborn and an unexpected health issue—Pelvic Organ Prolapse, where the organs of my pelvic floor shifted downwards into my vaginal area. Although the physical symptoms of the condition were very uncomfortable, I never expected the emotional impact it would have. I was terrified at the new changes to my body, which were so connected to my sexuality. I was in self-preservation mode, as I obsessively scoured the internet searching for any information about POP and how it affected sex. My searches led me to a woman who graciously shared her wisdom: “Honey, you may feel different down there, but he won’t really notice. Trust me!”
This little gem of online encouragement gave me the courage I needed to confide in my husband about my fear that sex wouldn’t be the same for us. Here’s the deal—it isn’t the same, but not for the reasons I was worried about. There have been some big challenges to overcome, but we started to face them together, and from my perspective, this is a big turn on. There are certain positions that are uncomfortable, but between my issues and his partially herniated disc, we have experimented with what works for us. When we do hook up for our weekly “rendezvous,” it’s pretty great. A lot of times it’s even better than before!