How to NOT Drink

... and still have a good time.

When it comes to drinking alcohol, there is an aasy, instant behavior-changing question: “why am I doing this?”

It is this simple; it is this complicated.

We often keep following the same patterns of behavior, because it’s what we’re used to. Other times, we follow these patterns of behavior because someone else told/taught us to.

Asking “why” is an incredibly empowering question. Anytime we interrupt our usual patterns and flow, we shift our conscious awareness. That’s psychology nerd for “we start to pay attention to stuff in a different way.” And when we ask ourselves why, and allow ourselves the time to answer, our reasons are usually way out of line with our values and intentions. Which kickstarts a whole whack of unhealthy emotions and behavior.

Why am I eating this? Why am I buying this? Why am I spending time with this person? Why am I speaking like this? Why am I having this glass of wine?

I’ve appointed myself president of #ClubSoda, and have been 100% sober for almost two years; in that “sobering light of day,” I was able to step back and to question and examine the “why” behind my numbing agent of choice, I came to some pretty hefty observations.

“I didn’t want to deal with the emotional weight of the things in my life, so I’d have another drink to time it out. And then things didn’t seem so bad.”

This was a very, very painful point of arrival for me, the realization that I had unwittingly developed an unhealthy dependence on alcohol. Mixing drinks, entertaining, sourcing special wine and liquor to pair with food were all “hobbies” of mine, and I don’t realize how far the scales had tipped, until I got the wake-up call to quit drinking completely.

Alcohol, like any substance, is a reach. And when we reach for something to make us feel a particular way, we REALLY need to ask ourselves why. If this is a subject or conversation that really irks you, makes you feel uncomfortable, or even pisses you off, this is an EXCELLENT sign that it’s the right time to start looking at your own behaviour. Reflect without judgement about your own habits your own reaching / coping mechanisms, and ask if there is a healthier approach to handling what life throws at you.

Leisse Wilcox is a writer + mindset coach from a tiny beachfront town east of Toronto, who writes regularly at

A mom of three lovely girls, her passion is working with women to help them dig deep, get clear and confident with who they really are, help them find, express, and use their voice for good, in a lifestyle-friendly way.

When not happily engaged with clients or kids, Leisse can be found stargazing, dreaming about an A-frame cabin in the woods, or anywhere the tacos are.