When you’re a mom, it can sometimes feel like all you do is care about other people: other people’s health, other people’s happiness, other people’s laundryfoodhomeworkfriendssports… And then we are bombarded with the notion that self-care is important, and it absolutely is. But not many of us have the luxury of being able to drop everything (and the kids) for a weekend to luxuriate at an expensive spa for the weekend. Self-care is a moving target and you CAN achieve some real “me time” and boost your happiness in many ways ranging from 5 minute to all day experiences. We’ve got some ideas (and some surprising stats on women) for you along the way.
This one is going to feel good – really good. Saying no may take practice as it is not something women in particular are able to do easily. We’ve been “trained” in many ways to be people-pleasers but sometimes self-care meaning saying no in order to please yourself. So, say no this week to something you’d usually do (and not want to.) Bake 278 cupcakes for a class party? Nope; can’t do it. Volunteer to wash 16 cats at the shelter? Ask again next week. Basically, saying NO to anything you don’t WANT to do that will not cause dire consequences for you or others. Believe us, this one may be hard, but it is going to feel so, SO good.
You know that movie that you saw in a trailer 6 months ago? The one you’re dying to see but not a single person in your circle wants to watch? GO BY YOURSELF. Circle the opening date on your calendar and make your junk food game plans. Hit it up at a quiet time (matinee, likely) and sit yourself in the back row for a seat-kick free, sugar fueled 2 hour reprieve from life, with no plot questions to answer from the unfamiliar unenthusiastic non-fan you didn’t bring along. Warning: going to the movies alone is known to be habit forming.
A lot of the time we visit the drugstore, it’s an “emergency” visit. We’re there for diapers or formula or wipes or kid-themed bandages. We can see the “fun” aisles, but never have time to check them out because we’re in line for the third antibiotic our kids have had this year for that ear infection that will not quit. For this self-care tip, we suggest you make a visit to the drugstore that is just for you. You are not to buy anything here that isn’t self-care directed! Take your time – spend an hour in the mascara section if that’s what you want. Look at all the neat things you never knew you could buy here! Breathe in the amazing drugstore smell, that mixture of face powder and floor cleaner, and tensor bandages. It’s amazing and it is the smell of freedom today! And while you’re here – alone and in no hurry – we suggest hitting the best of the adult aisles for some K-Y lubricant. They have an amazing line-up of personal lubricants for any stage of your sexual life and the fact is that for many women, their own personal lubrication can be diminished for 2/3 of the month. Using doctor recommended K-Y lubricants as a great alternative and can make sex and self-pleasure much more enjoyable – and we all know self-care is all about self-pleasure!
Okay, we can see how “do a chore” may seem like a strange way to achieve self-care, but we’d encourage you to try it and see. A sink full of dirty dishes is still going to be there after you read a chapter of a new book you treated yourself to. Try setting a timer for 15 minutes and commit to working full speed at chipping away at something that’s been bothering you. Clean out your purse, or your car, or empty all the garbage cans in the house. 15 minutes is not a long time and the timer will ping before you know it, but you will be shocked at what you can achieve in that time uninterrupted. And the bonus here? Not only will a lot of little things be finished and crossed off your list, you’re also going to feel amazing. Now relax. For the next 45 minutes with something you WANT to do!
Whether you are in a partnered relationship or not, sometimes the best pleasure is self-pleasure because you have no one and nothing to stop you from doing… that thing you really like. Make this fun and fulfilling. Set the stage the way you like it and do all you can to be alone or at least uninterrupted for the time YOU need. There is no rushing this and you should feel satisfied every step of the way. Be sure to gather your supplies, including Canada’s most recommended lube by doctors, K-Y. There are several K-Y products to choose from, and the line-up of lubrications are formulated to suit all needs and desires. (Just like the best of self-care, K-Y is built for comfort AND pleasure!) Buying and using your own lube can lead to comfort and fulfillment that goes beyond just sex, especially given that for 2/3 of the month, a woman may not be producing enough natural lubrication to feel comfortable. Lock the door, turn your phone OFF and spend some quality time with yourself. You more than deserve this!