Honestly, I can’t believe my luck sometimes. Yes, I often find myself in awkward situations and I’m not sure why. What I do know is that I’m learning to see them for all they’re worth. Writing material.
Sometimes you’re a guest at a wedding. Sometimes you’re a server. I haven’t been to a wedding in fifteen years. (Lucky, I guess.)
It’s not often that I get to work a wedding, and it's a nice change of pace. Until the wedding's still going at 1 AM, and I’m tired. Still, I maintain my professionalism, because I was raised well.
Part of my duties for this particular blessed event included hosting a free bar for the guests. A small wedding of forty people actually kept me quite busy, which helped the night go quickly.
Throughout the night, the lovely bride kept checking in with me. She would order a drink and ask if I wanted a chair. No, I assured her, I’m used to being on my feet for ten hours at a time, but thanks so much. “Now shoo, and enjoy your night.”
She must have asked me at least three times, which made me wonder if she should be cut off or remembered as the most considerate bride yet.
Around 1 AM, the party started to wind down and last to leave were the newlyweds. The bride wandered towards my work station where I was bent down picking up some of her decorations. She snapped at my coworker: “You aren’t going to make the pregnant girl pick all those up are you???!”
Fucking hell.
From the ground I looked up and forced a smile. "It’s okay. I’m not pregnant"
Bride, dead in the eyes, states: ”Yes, you are.”
It’s late and I’m done.
Me: ”Ummm nope. I’m pretty sure I’m not.”
Bride: ”Ummm, yes you are, you have to be, you look pregnant.”
*Coworker is now hiding in a corner shivering.*
Me: “Well, I’m NOT. *still smiling* I’ve had three kids, and let’s just say, well, that I’m not.”
Bride, completely baffled spits out: "But you have to be, the wedding officiant is also a psychic on the side, and she said someone in the room tonight was pregnant.”
Me: *Blank stare.*
Bride: "So I wracked my brain, and it just can’t be anyone at the wedding, and then I saw you, and we all figured it was you.”
Me: "Oh wow, so that’s why you kept asking if I needed a chair. I see. I just thought you were being nice.”
Bride: “I felt so bad that you had to be on your feet all night. So, you’re not preg-
Me: “NO.”
I pick coworker off floor and move along.
Honestly.
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