Do You Need "Permission" to Have Great Sex?

Have Better Sex after this talk with yourself

help getting in the mood for sex |

Let’s just think of sex for a moment. Seriously, I'm already exhausted, and now you want me to find energy for sex. Come on!  

Believe it or not ladies, sex is a raw, animalistic need for us — just like food and water!  We’re drawn into the act with an almost primal desire to connect, and it releases hormones which make us feel fully alive. So, why don’t we do it more often? We’re tired. We're focused on other things. Exhausted and overwhelmed, limited to a cuddle on the couch at the end of a never ending day of cooking, cleaning and kids. We may have lost touch with what we really want or need, because of all the other priorities that take our time and energy. And sometimes, it’s because we believe as women, we shouldn’t have sexual needs.

Most women I speak to are often afraid to ask for and/or give themselves permission to do, have and be who they really want to in sex. This unsatisfied need creates a block in our sexual energy (sacral chakra located below your belly button) and so we satisfy it elsewhere--either overdoing for others, or overcompensating with food, alcohol, or work. The intimate connection to having awesome, deeply satisfying sex comes from allowing and filling our own wants, needs and desires. Just as in a hunger for a satisfying career, family, or relationship, the hunger must first be satisfied by us, ourselves.

Ladies, this is not about the guys. Really, it’s not. It’s about us. As women we need to connect to the sexual woman that is inside us. Decide what gives you the most pleasure, at a sensory level (sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell) and begin to bring that into your life regularly. Connecting to yourself sexually doesn’t have to be through sex. Play your favourite tunes and dance. Enjoy nature. Design cool art, scrapbook or create something you love. It’s no accident that the sexual energy centre of our body, the sacral chakra, is also the centre for creativity. Connect to the deeper vibrant sexual part of you. Register for a class at a sex shop, learn burlesque, study Tantra, or read books on sexuality. Become more in tune with what you really want from, and in sex. Don’t be shy … fill your inner need!

And don’t forget ladies, that the best way to have great sex is give it to yourself. Maybe buy a rockin’ pair of panties, too. No one need know you're wearing them, and think how fabulous you will feel!

Developing your sexuality is one way to get what we want in life. Dive into this, or just dip your big toe; you are worth it. Do it for you, and all of you will thank you. Go ahead, start today, and knock yourself out!

 RELATED: Why You Need to Start Scheduling Sex


Gail is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Speaker.  She has worked with hundreds of individuals on issues of trust, human connection, spirituality and intimacy. A powerful, motivational speaker, Gail is recognised as a leading expert in her field and has appeared regularly on Rogers Television, digital media, and International Radio.


Intuitively led, she uses her own transformative journey and vast knowledge around the family system, brain/body connection and leading edge science to help others connect to a deeper part of themselves for more successful relationships and deeper life satisfaction.