Little shakes you more than the news that a loved one has cancer. I know-my best friend sent me that email last August. Once you are over the initial shock, I think it’s natural to want to do something to help. You can’t, after all, fix the situation and rather than sit around feeling helpless, many people want to do something tangible. Sometimes, that may translate into sending over dinner or cooking for a family who has a member with cancer.
How do you know what to do? While trying to be sensitive, it can be hard to know exactly what someone will need. Sometimes, you just need to ask. Would they need dinner? How about some lunchbox snacks? Cancer is something that sends you reeling, and at times people can be so overwhelmed they don’t know what they need. In that situation, you can offer up the help yourself.
“How about I bring you dinner on Tuesday?” or “I’ll bring some snacks for the kids’ lunch boxes on Wednesday.”
Next, ask a few questions to find out their particular needs. Are there any particular favorites? Cravings? Comfort foods? Allergies? My friend’s tummy was bothering her so figuring out a dinner would be hard, but she did request one thing: oatmeal cookies. It’s also a good thing to bring dishes that can be frozen. Cancer is a bit of a roller coaster with good days and bad, so it would be nice to have things stashed away in the freezer for the days when one feels good. Just knowing that a favorite dish is tucked away in the freezer gives one something to look forward to. Sometimes it’s a good idea to divide the meals into small portions to freeze (make sure to label them) so they are more manageable.
Make sure to think about the family’s needs while you plan. For some people, chemo days mean a bit of energy from some of the medications for the first couple of days, and then a crushing ‘smack down’ later that leaves one unable to get out of bed. It may be helpful to bring something for the rest of the family, along with the recipe and heating instructions.
Keep things simple and tasty, sticking to their favorites or comfort foods. People who have cancer will have all kinds of symptoms from tummy troubles to a sore mouth or teeth, medications can make food taste weird, and sometimes they have no appetite at all. Don’t be surprised if they decline to eat-and don’t take it personally. They are coping the best they can, and don’t need unsolicited advice about their health, or suggestions for a ‘cure all.’
Most of all, be the friend you’ve always been. A hug, a cup of tea, and a shoulder can mean more than you’ll ever know.
Speaking of supporting a loved one with cancer, Cocktail Deeva’s Boobfest 2012 is in full swing. Find out how you can be part of her shaving her head, just by donating!
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