The day I realized I was a true single parent was the day I threw up every ten minutes (wish I was exaggerating here but nope, I timed it).
My son was a precocious toddler and if I turned my back for an instant, his diaper would be on the floor and his little white bum would be racing out the front door as fast as his chubby legs could carry him (for the safety experts out there, yes I did have a high deadbolt, he discovered how to stack toys…)
As I dragged my sorry carcass back to bed from another trip to the porcelain god, my son woke up ready and excited to start his day. Now this is the part where the other parent, grandparent, or family member should step in, right? Wrong.
I have no parents and my only family member in the City was unavailable. Unable to care properly for my child, I decided to set up a “safe zone” that I could watch him in from a horizontal position, (I co-slept with my son so my bedroom was minimalist at best).
I closed all the doors, gave him some toys and lay on my bed. Determined not to fall asleep I watched him with one eye open. Well, this one eye had a mind of its’ own and apparently the open part was overrated. Sometime later I came to and discovered that my “safe zone” had become a “ghost zone”. My baby was gone.
I panicked and dashed to the stairs (okay, so technically I rolled off my mattress and crawled to the landing), praying the front door wasn’t open. (It wasn’t.) When much to my surprise I heard my baby happily talking away to himself.
Sliding down the stairs I was thanking my lucky stars that he was still in the house when I happened to notice he had a nice red tinge to him. Somehow, my sweet, innocent babe had discovered where I had hidden his paint…. Yep, he was covered – head to toe. I suppose this is to be expected when a toddler is left unsupervised. However, should I have expected my TV to be red? How about my stereo speakers? Okay, okay maybe my carpet, couch and blinds were a wee bit ‘last season’ too. And yes, he had an eye for design so the walls had to match as well.
What I really don’t understand, though, is how did he get the cat to stay still long enough to receive his new color?
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