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At a recent summit of the UNOBFT (United Nations of Breastfed Toddlers), representatives from all nations agreed upon the following ten fundamental rights for all members. The UNBFT has set a modest goal of 100% compliance, in the absence of which they reserve the right to hold a generalized tantrum in accordance with international law.
Service does not shut down during showers, bathroom breaks, meal preparation, grocery-store trips, hikes or minor home repairs.
Be it standing, sitting, kneeling, lying down or upside down, the toddler knows best.
This includes, but is not limited to, kittens (plush and live), Optimus Prime, the largest board book in the home library and any matter of found stick, rock or leaf.
Nor any other clothing item that impedes self-service.
Including but not limited to nail cutting, hair brushing, nose picking and ear cleaning.
¹ wean
This includes crumbs, cell phones or books.
See also commandment 7.